Public Speaking

Today, I got the wonderful opportunity to share my testimony at church. I have to admit, it was a bit nerve wrecking. People (by that I mean my parents and some close friends) told me "it'd be okay; you sing on team, so you'll be fine". My perspective: well, it's NOT the same; unlike worship team, you're up there by yourself, speaking by yourself, and if you make a mistake, they know it's you! Not that anyone ever tries to make mistakes while on worship team (although it does happen more often than anyone things); but still, the thought of public speaking never gave me a super duper good feeling, although, depending on the circumstances (such as doing a report at work, or even doing a report when I was at school) I think I do fairly well; but you have to think of the cicumstances: over 600 people PER service! (two services I spoke at). When I went in to the worship team room this morning, the team asked me how I was. I told them, I'm doing GREAT if you consider feeling your heart is about to pop out any moment! I got a big laugh from everyone, and somehow, that broke the ice for me; somehow it made me feel less stressed and more relaxed, some how, it made my WHOLE perspective on the speaking change: IT'S ALL ABOUT GOD, NOT ABOUT ME! Although I knew this from the beginning I think my fear was making a mistake and thinking "man, people are going to think I'm stupid" or if I actually read from my notes people might think "she didn't prepare very well." I soon realized this was all human nature and that the most important thing was to focus on God and not speak for myself but let God speak through me. I felt even a great prescence upon me as I gathered in the circle with the team to pray. What a thing I miss! I've been on sabatical for about 4 months or so from team, just to take time to rest. I never knew how much I missed praying with the worship team before services and what a difference it can make in one's perspective about worshipping. The prayer time was wonderful; so many of my brother and sisters put me in thier prayers for God to relax my emotions and let HIM use me for HIS glory. I believe so God really do work in those prayers; I wasn't totally butterfly-free, but I was a lot more at ease then from the beginning. The first time I spoke, everyone told me how calm and complacent I was; I thought the total opposite, but I guess it is different in your own perspective; I guess one is more critical of themselves than they should be. The guest speaker, Dave, told me what an inspirational testimony was given; others told me how I spoke to thier hearts; other told me how they can really hear God speaking through me. I say this not to gloat or put myself on a pedistal but I say this for one purpose: God can use ANYONE, ANYWHERE, ANYHOW, to speak through a person to another person; we shouldn't loose sight of why we are called "salt" and "light" of the world. God uses people in so many ways, and we shouldn't let fear, anxiety, helplessness, etc get in the way of the glory of God! This was a very humbling experience for me; I think of all the many many people/members of Cov Pres, "why me" "why would the session choose me to speak?" The only answer I can think of is because God works in the hearts of others and know who or what circumstances can be a ministry to other people. I'm humbled by the opportunity to share of the faithfulness of God; I'm humbled by the love and care I was showed before my testimony was given, and I"m humbled by the heart-felt feelings that were described to me by others after the testimony was given! It taught me that it is okay to be nervous to speak, because what is important is God speaking through you!

Blessings to you all, my dear readers and friends!