A JOYFUL NOISE

So often, I am hammered with this question: "Am I truly relying on God or am I relying on myself or others?" This year alone has brought so many questions (and it's ONLY FEBRUARY!!). I've been sick 3 times since the beginning of the year and the stress level at work is only rising. And oh, did I mention that because of budget cuts w/in the agency (entirely have to do with the economy and state deficits), there has been numerous people laid off from work----one of which was a dear co-worker of mine?? Work is laying off peopole to help the agency's budget: they are consolidating work and workers. And...oh, to add to that, our Executive Director has announced that MORE people will be laid off between now and July; my bosses don't know who will be next..or at least they aren't saying out loud...It's like walking on a thin layer of ice---and underneath the ice is cold water. I feel like I'm drowning and freezing in a sea of emotions. I CAN...

Forewarning: long post, but bear w/ me; I'll get to my point at the end! Trying to lay the framework: Today while driving back from work, it was a little cloudy here and there. Yet the sun was peeping through the clouds. Ok, I wasn't driving, I was a passenger--Dad drove and I just enjoyed the ride home. Anyhow, back to where I was going with this. I was enjoying the ride home in the front seat, looking at all that was in front of me and looking at the sun peeping through the clouds and yet so bright that I had to put my sun glasses on my face. I gazed at the sky and right in between two clouds----there it was........A RAINBOW!! It was a tiny arch. I yelled "Daddy, look at the rainbow!!" (yes, I still at times call my dad, "daddy"). Dad replied "where...what rainbow, I don't see a rainbow". I pointed up and said "there....right in between the clouds!" Dad saw it and said "yah, I see it now". I though...

On top of being sick with the stomach bug for the two days this week, I have had a week of struggles. Struggles that can appear minute to many people or huge to some. For me, it's a huge struggle. A struggle that I had once thought was behind me, but now I face again. A struggle that is in need of prayers and reliance on God. As you all know, I once worked for a place in Harrisonburg that at first was great; then gradually declined as I saw felt the unfairness and prejudice in the workplace (among many other things which I will not go into detail). The job there was relentless......I began to dislike it so much, but at the advice of others, I pressed forward and trucked on, hoping and praying that something good will come out of it or that I will get a better job. The job affected my physical well being (lost 20 lbs), emoitonal well being (was on medication for anxiety) and spiritually well being. After 7 yrs working at the job, it was time for me to go.......I was in fac...