My Roller Coaster
If you know me, you know how emotional I can get. I cry during some movies, I cry because I'm happy that a friend has gotten married or engaged, I cry over the rejoicing birth of my nieces as well as other friends' children; I cry (rejoice) over God's Love for His Children and how unworthy we all are for His Grace and Mercy; God's never-ending love and amazing grace to me. I cry when I'm hurt by people or suffer physically when I have one of my "bad" health days; I cry over sad times---the death of friends or loved ones or the aching heart that a friend is experiencing because I hate to see people in pain, even if it's emotional.
This month has been an emotional roller coaster for me. I have rejoiced over the birth of my co-worker's first child, mourned over the death of our dear friend Lillian, felt sadden by the death of one of my clients. Rejoiced over new steps and new things I hear that my nieces are doing and/or saying, rejoiced over a couple's engagement. I've had a tough past week with work and getting injured, but grateful for my recovery and feeling 100% better as of yesterday.
Last week, one of my best friend shared exciting news with me---she and her husband, after 3-1/2 yrs of trying, were expecting their first child--she was 11 weeks along. I rejoiced with her and was excited. I think it was one of the BEST news they ever received and I was blessed to share this excitement with them; yesterday, I found out the worse news---a news that no one wants to hear. The words '"There's no heartbeat" My heart ached for my friend; I spent time crying for them and I can't imagine how they feel; then I realized that my duty as a friend is to be a support and comfort; I prayed hard for them; I miss my friend today more than ever, even though I saw her last week; I just want to embrace her and pray with her; all I can do right now is let her work through this with her husband and their God; all I can do is pray pray pray.
Today, I sang on worship team; it was hard for me because I couldn't sleep last night; I found myself crying for my friend during the night and wondering how she's doing and just praying for her and hoping that I can hear her voice once she feels up to talking. We sang today of God's faithfulness. "Great is Thy Faithfulness". God is faithful through the bad times and hard times and even though at that moment we don't understand, we will in Glory. I heard my pastor speak and talk about Exodus--how we all have our own "Egypt" and "Exodus" and through it all, God will be with us and never forsake us; I thought of all the trails that I have had to face this year alone, and especially this month, and I slap myself in the face as a wake up call for myself that God is there and knows what he is doing.....I realize that my trials are sooo trivial compared to so many of my friends--my friends who went through Chemo and/or Radiation; my friend who lost a job; my friend who lost a mother....a friend who lost a child........etc. I am humbled.
Thank you Lord that despite our trials; You are our Everlasting God; You are our All in All; You are our Strength; help me to never forget this and help me to use my trials to minister to others and let the know that You are always for us; and NEVER against us.
This month has been an emotional roller coaster for me. I have rejoiced over the birth of my co-worker's first child, mourned over the death of our dear friend Lillian, felt sadden by the death of one of my clients. Rejoiced over new steps and new things I hear that my nieces are doing and/or saying, rejoiced over a couple's engagement. I've had a tough past week with work and getting injured, but grateful for my recovery and feeling 100% better as of yesterday.
Last week, one of my best friend shared exciting news with me---she and her husband, after 3-1/2 yrs of trying, were expecting their first child--she was 11 weeks along. I rejoiced with her and was excited. I think it was one of the BEST news they ever received and I was blessed to share this excitement with them; yesterday, I found out the worse news---a news that no one wants to hear. The words '"There's no heartbeat" My heart ached for my friend; I spent time crying for them and I can't imagine how they feel; then I realized that my duty as a friend is to be a support and comfort; I prayed hard for them; I miss my friend today more than ever, even though I saw her last week; I just want to embrace her and pray with her; all I can do right now is let her work through this with her husband and their God; all I can do is pray pray pray.
Today, I sang on worship team; it was hard for me because I couldn't sleep last night; I found myself crying for my friend during the night and wondering how she's doing and just praying for her and hoping that I can hear her voice once she feels up to talking. We sang today of God's faithfulness. "Great is Thy Faithfulness". God is faithful through the bad times and hard times and even though at that moment we don't understand, we will in Glory. I heard my pastor speak and talk about Exodus--how we all have our own "Egypt" and "Exodus" and through it all, God will be with us and never forsake us; I thought of all the trails that I have had to face this year alone, and especially this month, and I slap myself in the face as a wake up call for myself that God is there and knows what he is doing.....I realize that my trials are sooo trivial compared to so many of my friends--my friends who went through Chemo and/or Radiation; my friend who lost a job; my friend who lost a mother....a friend who lost a child........etc. I am humbled.
Thank you Lord that despite our trials; You are our Everlasting God; You are our All in All; You are our Strength; help me to never forget this and help me to use my trials to minister to others and let the know that You are always for us; and NEVER against us.
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