Tiresome Journey
Last Tuesday, 20th, my work place ¬¬¬decided that the restrictions my doctor gave me was not in the “met requirements” for human resource to honor so they denied me of restrictions (long story that I do not really have energy to get into but will be glad to tell you if you are interested) This made me upset, but Human Resources found out that I had 6 days left of FMLA to take, so I took it. This has been one long and hectic week and past weekend for me and my family. God’s tim Me especially. God’s timing is perfect for everything even if it has to be for sad occasions as I was able to be off and have extra time off to recuperate from stress before going back to work.. For those who do not know, my grandfather passed away last Wednesday, April 21, 2010. I contact HR and they granted me 3 days of bereavement along with my last 6 days of FMLA (don’t have to go back to work till Tuesday, May 4th) Dad, Mom, and I discussed the best time to go to NY and after consideration and the dates the Chinese funeral home had opened, we decided to go to NY early Saturday morning and prepare for the funeral on Sunday and burial on Monday. So my parents’ bereavement time made more sense to just drive on Saturday and take Monday-Wednesday off.
It was a wearisome weekend. Saturday I wasn’t feeling well at all and slept almost all the way up and then again at my grandma’s house. I was so out of it and not feeling well at all, in so much pain on my shoulder, and running a 101 fever. My mom tried to get me to eat something for strength. I ate very little. The next morning (Sunday), we all had to wake up early to following the Chinese tradition of eating rice and veggies for breakfast/brunch before the viewing which we had to be there no later than 12noon. I still wasn’t feeling well but just ran a slight temperature (I think 99.9) but I was still feeling sick and hurting. In addition, I emotionally wasn’t feeling well. Mom helped grandma do the last minute buying things for the Chinese rituals (which that also is a long process), My uncle (mom’s brother) and his family was getting something to eat; my other cousins has not arrived yet, my Aunt (mom’s sister) and uncle was picking up snacks/pastries for family and friends. Dad had to go to the valet parking and then find Mom and grandma to help them bring the stuff in. Oh, I didn’t mention where I was? Good question. I got left at the funeral parlor along with 3 very nice Chinese men who where sending condolences (I’m at this point speaking Chinese, which as you all know I only do while with family or in NY). Yes…got stuck there by myself for over an hour talking to 3 guys and the owner (a lady). They offered me food to eat because they said I looked sick but I told them I was okay and that I had already had the vegetable dish in the morning. As time clicked by, I received a text message from Pam J who told me Joe just prayed for me and my family. I text her back to let her know how grateful I was and how “weak” I was emotionally and spiritually…..I knew I was going to fall apart one way or the other because I wasn’t feeling well and because I was so sad of the death of my grandfather. The men at the funeral parlor showed me where the viewing room was going to take place and offered for me to go up to see him first; but out of respect (and fear of breaking down in front of stranger) I told them I wanted my family to be here first and that I think my grandma should do the “respect ritual” first. Few minutes later, Burress called me and it took every strength in my body not to burst into tears. He just wanted to make sure I knew I was being prayed for and loved. I knew I couldn’t do it alone; I physically just couldn’t do it alone…..neither spiritually. Prayers are so powerful as I felt better after praying with Burress.
Finally, it was 12:30. Even my 100 yr old great aunt (daddy’s aunt) was there as a friend. We got in line (in Chinese tradition it’s a very weird way to line up) to get black ribbons on our shirts and then the daughters/and daughters in law got white rose pins for hair, and the lady grandchildren got green hair flower pins, We proceeded in line to do the Chinese ritual of respecting my dead grandfather; of course they were bowing to the gods and I was bowing and praying to THE one and ONLY GOD. When I got to the coffin, my heart broke into a million pieces; but I didn’t cry as hard as I thought I would. Yes, at times I cried; but somehow, I felt secure and at peace (not for my grandfather) but for myself. I felt a blanket of care and love covering over me. I kept going up to the coffin, only because I knew I could handle it because God was holding my hand. Marc my cousin took good care of me and brought me up to see Grandpa each time, just to make sure I would be okay. l Each time I went up there to see my grandfather, I prayed that strength would continue to be with me, that my relatives will see their need of Christ, and that God will give my grandmother strength throughout the day. I still was feeling sick the entire day; for dinner, the usual custom is to eat a vegetarian dish. Unfortunately, everything but the veggies was made out of gluten (mock beef, mock chicken, etc). I didn’t eat much only because I still had GI upset and was extremely tired.
The next day, Monday, was the funeral. I was I would say about 95% better—no fever! A little more energy and a bit of an appetite. My grandmother was unable to make it---not that she didn’t want to it was that the lot my grandfather had is very steep and she was afraid to fall; but the funeral procession did pass by the house just to so that she could say her final goodbyes. However, before all this happened, we had about an hour to do our final goodbyes. Also, in Chinese tradition, they do a “religious” music and prayer to the gods. I was crying because it broke my heart how people can but faith in a "gold" object or even a dead person (my grandfather). I was pretty upset that I felt arms around me, embracing me. I thought to myself that it was my cousin, Marc trying to comfort me because that’s just the kind of guy he is---he cares and loves me that he will hug me whenever I need a hug. I turned around and he had his hands to his front folded----it wasn’t him; I wondered if it were God embracing me. As they prayed a prayer, I said my own prayer to my Father in Heaven. Then the Chinese ritual music came on. I knew it was that kind of music but God made me hear songs “Beautiful One” and “You are my All in All and I thought that God must have “closed” my ears to the pagan music, and opened my ears to His Praise. It was truly and amazing experience. I knew and felt the presence of God's love and the prayers and love of my church family. Yes, it is still very sad, and as I’ve said before I pray he was like that “thief on the cross”.
Tuesday was just a day of relaxation and family time. It was good to just have an “off” day to recuperate from the busyness of life and all. Today, before going home, we did see the cemetery one more time. Then we headed home back to VA. Hopefully our next visit to NY will be less stressful!
Oh, I forgot to mention, it RAINED all day Sunday and Monday and was FREEZING cold (upper 40s) brrrr!!!!
Thanks to all of you again who prayed for me. Tomorrow (Thursday) I will be getting a second opinion regarding my shoulder and also getting an MRI; so continue to keep me in your prayers; I feel it…..and I feel God more each day as I become less numb as I once was last week.
It was a wearisome weekend. Saturday I wasn’t feeling well at all and slept almost all the way up and then again at my grandma’s house. I was so out of it and not feeling well at all, in so much pain on my shoulder, and running a 101 fever. My mom tried to get me to eat something for strength. I ate very little. The next morning (Sunday), we all had to wake up early to following the Chinese tradition of eating rice and veggies for breakfast/brunch before the viewing which we had to be there no later than 12noon. I still wasn’t feeling well but just ran a slight temperature (I think 99.9) but I was still feeling sick and hurting. In addition, I emotionally wasn’t feeling well. Mom helped grandma do the last minute buying things for the Chinese rituals (which that also is a long process), My uncle (mom’s brother) and his family was getting something to eat; my other cousins has not arrived yet, my Aunt (mom’s sister) and uncle was picking up snacks/pastries for family and friends. Dad had to go to the valet parking and then find Mom and grandma to help them bring the stuff in. Oh, I didn’t mention where I was? Good question. I got left at the funeral parlor along with 3 very nice Chinese men who where sending condolences (I’m at this point speaking Chinese, which as you all know I only do while with family or in NY). Yes…got stuck there by myself for over an hour talking to 3 guys and the owner (a lady). They offered me food to eat because they said I looked sick but I told them I was okay and that I had already had the vegetable dish in the morning. As time clicked by, I received a text message from Pam J who told me Joe just prayed for me and my family. I text her back to let her know how grateful I was and how “weak” I was emotionally and spiritually…..I knew I was going to fall apart one way or the other because I wasn’t feeling well and because I was so sad of the death of my grandfather. The men at the funeral parlor showed me where the viewing room was going to take place and offered for me to go up to see him first; but out of respect (and fear of breaking down in front of stranger) I told them I wanted my family to be here first and that I think my grandma should do the “respect ritual” first. Few minutes later, Burress called me and it took every strength in my body not to burst into tears. He just wanted to make sure I knew I was being prayed for and loved. I knew I couldn’t do it alone; I physically just couldn’t do it alone…..neither spiritually. Prayers are so powerful as I felt better after praying with Burress.
Finally, it was 12:30. Even my 100 yr old great aunt (daddy’s aunt) was there as a friend. We got in line (in Chinese tradition it’s a very weird way to line up) to get black ribbons on our shirts and then the daughters/and daughters in law got white rose pins for hair, and the lady grandchildren got green hair flower pins, We proceeded in line to do the Chinese ritual of respecting my dead grandfather; of course they were bowing to the gods and I was bowing and praying to THE one and ONLY GOD. When I got to the coffin, my heart broke into a million pieces; but I didn’t cry as hard as I thought I would. Yes, at times I cried; but somehow, I felt secure and at peace (not for my grandfather) but for myself. I felt a blanket of care and love covering over me. I kept going up to the coffin, only because I knew I could handle it because God was holding my hand. Marc my cousin took good care of me and brought me up to see Grandpa each time, just to make sure I would be okay. l Each time I went up there to see my grandfather, I prayed that strength would continue to be with me, that my relatives will see their need of Christ, and that God will give my grandmother strength throughout the day. I still was feeling sick the entire day; for dinner, the usual custom is to eat a vegetarian dish. Unfortunately, everything but the veggies was made out of gluten (mock beef, mock chicken, etc). I didn’t eat much only because I still had GI upset and was extremely tired.
The next day, Monday, was the funeral. I was I would say about 95% better—no fever! A little more energy and a bit of an appetite. My grandmother was unable to make it---not that she didn’t want to it was that the lot my grandfather had is very steep and she was afraid to fall; but the funeral procession did pass by the house just to so that she could say her final goodbyes. However, before all this happened, we had about an hour to do our final goodbyes. Also, in Chinese tradition, they do a “religious” music and prayer to the gods. I was crying because it broke my heart how people can but faith in a "gold" object or even a dead person (my grandfather). I was pretty upset that I felt arms around me, embracing me. I thought to myself that it was my cousin, Marc trying to comfort me because that’s just the kind of guy he is---he cares and loves me that he will hug me whenever I need a hug. I turned around and he had his hands to his front folded----it wasn’t him; I wondered if it were God embracing me. As they prayed a prayer, I said my own prayer to my Father in Heaven. Then the Chinese ritual music came on. I knew it was that kind of music but God made me hear songs “Beautiful One” and “You are my All in All and I thought that God must have “closed” my ears to the pagan music, and opened my ears to His Praise. It was truly and amazing experience. I knew and felt the presence of God's love and the prayers and love of my church family. Yes, it is still very sad, and as I’ve said before I pray he was like that “thief on the cross”.
Tuesday was just a day of relaxation and family time. It was good to just have an “off” day to recuperate from the busyness of life and all. Today, before going home, we did see the cemetery one more time. Then we headed home back to VA. Hopefully our next visit to NY will be less stressful!
Oh, I forgot to mention, it RAINED all day Sunday and Monday and was FREEZING cold (upper 40s) brrrr!!!!
Thanks to all of you again who prayed for me. Tomorrow (Thursday) I will be getting a second opinion regarding my shoulder and also getting an MRI; so continue to keep me in your prayers; I feel it…..and I feel God more each day as I become less numb as I once was last week.
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