Grudging vs Crying for help
Disclaimer: These are just thoughts that are in my heart as I struggle through my sickness. We are all called to love one another and care for each other as brothers and sisters in Christ. Please read and give me an opinion/thought if you wish to share
"The steadfast Love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your Faithfulness" Lam 3:22, 23
I have often had this memory verse pop into my head during the moments I need this reminder the most. I love the song that goes to this verse and of course I love the verse itself. It's so comforting knowing that no matter what trials we face in our Christian walk, God's love is abundant and unfailing....He is always faithful to us and will never leave us.
Trials come to our lives in any moment and in many ways. During this time, Satan will take every opportunity to lure you far away from God's open arms and try to convince us that we are not loved by our Father in Heaven. I can really attest to that.
During this current sickness since end March/beginning of April, I often get the idea in my head "why God why?" I tend to hold a "grudge", get angry, or simply (as it all comes down to); I become discontent. I'm learning so hard not to complain and seek empathy or sympathy or even just drown in my own sorrows. It's tough sometimes. Especially when you have day, when right when you open your eyes in the morning it is when you are already feeling sick and your day is just spent drinking liquids, eating very very bland foods or sleeping/resting.
But I ask. What is the difference between crying out to others for prayers, (sharing your burden so that prayers can be poured out to you) verses your telling everyone your trials and it comes across as you are complaining......are are we really complaining (that is, am I really complaining) ?.....are we appearing negative or discouraging to others?
I am learning to know how to present myself to others and not appear complaining or even discouraging. When I'm asked how I am feeling, I'm not a closed book. I tell people how I feel....I tell them because I don't want to give them the impression "I'm fine" if indeed I'm not. I know some people just ask for the sake of asking but I am one not to hold back anything. My intent is not to discourage other people, but tell people in my own way "you know, I feel this way....I can really use prayers.". I realized that a lot of how you say things and how you express yourselves is always a heart matter. I try not to answer in a complaining form of way. I really try to be honest. Sometimes saying things honestly is hard in that it can come across wrongly. I mean, would you smile and say "oh yeah, I feel yucky and been sick etc etc".? No! of course not! Our expressions on our faces shows how we truly feel. Now, I do know that some people are "closed books" and will say they are fine when they really aren't. Don't get me wrong. I don't tell everyone I meet on the street I feel crappy but if it is someone I know, I will probably tell them; and it also has to be based on the relationship formed there. I really do try very hard to remain positive throughout this whole situation I am facing. I try not to appear to be frustrated or complaining. When I say how I feel, I pray and hope it is not coming across as complaining or murmuring...but comes across to people as "you know, I can use every prayer I can get". I know for some, what I'm going through doesn't compare to, say, going through cancer or a miscarriage, etc. I've dealt with my physical issues for more than 30 years. It's been tough; and it gets tougher as I get older. I don't bounce back like I used to; I don't endure pain and my energy isn't up to par as it used to be. In fact, the older I get the more physical issues has arisen when compared to being a young child. I've had someone comment and say "you must be used to this by now". True, I'm used to hospitals, used to doctors, used to countless testing, etc. But that doesn't mean, it doesn't wear me down or make me feel tired from physical ailments. In fact, honestly, I often wonder how would it be for me to be "sick free" for just a few months! As the years has gone by I have really learned how God's faithfulness is never ceasing nor is HIS love for ME. I go to hospitals, doctors visits, etc with the mind set of "please God, let there be answers" in stead of "oh man, this stinks to go back to the doctor" (as it used to be when I was a child/young adult).
Yet, in asking for prayers I don't want to feel or sound selfish. That is my worse fear. I tend to forget to reciprocate the "how are you doing" to others.... probably because I'm so engrossed in my own physical needs.. for that, I am guilty of not loving my brothers and sisters as I should. Oh yes, there are times when I see others needing a shoulder to cry on and I'm more than willing to help them or even lend them a shoulder to cry on. In fact, sometimes when I think about it, helping and praying for others actually helps me take my mind off other things because it reminds me that I'm not the only one who suffers from physical, emotional, or spiritual issues. I don't want to be the center of attention and expect everyone to drop everything and pray for me. I too want to pray for others...I too want to be a minister to others physically, if I can, and spiritually through prayers. That is a lot of the reasons why I love to help out in my church. I too want to be that vessel God sent on earth to be a prayer warrior and a disciple to Christ. A friend on the worship team has told me that throughout my sickness, she has seen me as her mentor. I can't imagine what I did! As I shared with her, I told her "I should say that to you because you have been the one who has prayed for me." To which she replied "I see Christ in You as you go through this and has not seen me break down or turn from God." That my friends, was such a blessing to me and I praise God for that. Even in our own sicknesses, we never know who we are ministering to!
I love the above Scripture for so many reasons; it's such a great reminder of how God will always care for us. God sends us reminders in His words or even in His use of other people in my life. I have to say, I have been so blessed by so many people who has and continue to pray for me---praying for doctors to figure out my health issues and prayers for me not to loose faith. Prayers have been received by friends and even friends from long ago who heard about my illness...even friends of friends who has wanted to just come see me to minister to me! What a BLESSING. Reminders of God's love through His people is such a great comfort and joy. Another blessing is all the help I have received over the past months, all the calls, the support of my parents, and just being able to not worry too much about work and just having the ability to concentrate on getting well. It's a long road ahead of me; I continue to try not to loose faith; I will continue to live my life to glorify God, I will continue to seek the Love of Christ and his Faithfulness; I will remember that everything will be revealed in HIS TIME and I will always be continually grateful for the love of friends and family. Because we are all human, I can't promise I won't complain, but I promise to try hard not to and to be humble when asking for prayers.
So I humbly thank you for prayers......and pray it has not come across as discouraging or complaining. I thank God for a loving Church Family, my own family, and friends.
"The steadfast Love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your Faithfulness" Lam 3:22, 23
I have often had this memory verse pop into my head during the moments I need this reminder the most. I love the song that goes to this verse and of course I love the verse itself. It's so comforting knowing that no matter what trials we face in our Christian walk, God's love is abundant and unfailing....He is always faithful to us and will never leave us.
Trials come to our lives in any moment and in many ways. During this time, Satan will take every opportunity to lure you far away from God's open arms and try to convince us that we are not loved by our Father in Heaven. I can really attest to that.
During this current sickness since end March/beginning of April, I often get the idea in my head "why God why?" I tend to hold a "grudge", get angry, or simply (as it all comes down to); I become discontent. I'm learning so hard not to complain and seek empathy or sympathy or even just drown in my own sorrows. It's tough sometimes. Especially when you have day, when right when you open your eyes in the morning it is when you are already feeling sick and your day is just spent drinking liquids, eating very very bland foods or sleeping/resting.
But I ask. What is the difference between crying out to others for prayers, (sharing your burden so that prayers can be poured out to you) verses your telling everyone your trials and it comes across as you are complaining......are are we really complaining (that is, am I really complaining) ?.....are we appearing negative or discouraging to others?
I am learning to know how to present myself to others and not appear complaining or even discouraging. When I'm asked how I am feeling, I'm not a closed book. I tell people how I feel....I tell them because I don't want to give them the impression "I'm fine" if indeed I'm not. I know some people just ask for the sake of asking but I am one not to hold back anything. My intent is not to discourage other people, but tell people in my own way "you know, I feel this way....I can really use prayers.". I realized that a lot of how you say things and how you express yourselves is always a heart matter. I try not to answer in a complaining form of way. I really try to be honest. Sometimes saying things honestly is hard in that it can come across wrongly. I mean, would you smile and say "oh yeah, I feel yucky and been sick etc etc".? No! of course not! Our expressions on our faces shows how we truly feel. Now, I do know that some people are "closed books" and will say they are fine when they really aren't. Don't get me wrong. I don't tell everyone I meet on the street I feel crappy but if it is someone I know, I will probably tell them; and it also has to be based on the relationship formed there. I really do try very hard to remain positive throughout this whole situation I am facing. I try not to appear to be frustrated or complaining. When I say how I feel, I pray and hope it is not coming across as complaining or murmuring...but comes across to people as "you know, I can use every prayer I can get". I know for some, what I'm going through doesn't compare to, say, going through cancer or a miscarriage, etc. I've dealt with my physical issues for more than 30 years. It's been tough; and it gets tougher as I get older. I don't bounce back like I used to; I don't endure pain and my energy isn't up to par as it used to be. In fact, the older I get the more physical issues has arisen when compared to being a young child. I've had someone comment and say "you must be used to this by now". True, I'm used to hospitals, used to doctors, used to countless testing, etc. But that doesn't mean, it doesn't wear me down or make me feel tired from physical ailments. In fact, honestly, I often wonder how would it be for me to be "sick free" for just a few months! As the years has gone by I have really learned how God's faithfulness is never ceasing nor is HIS love for ME. I go to hospitals, doctors visits, etc with the mind set of "please God, let there be answers" in stead of "oh man, this stinks to go back to the doctor" (as it used to be when I was a child/young adult).
Yet, in asking for prayers I don't want to feel or sound selfish. That is my worse fear. I tend to forget to reciprocate the "how are you doing" to others.... probably because I'm so engrossed in my own physical needs.. for that, I am guilty of not loving my brothers and sisters as I should. Oh yes, there are times when I see others needing a shoulder to cry on and I'm more than willing to help them or even lend them a shoulder to cry on. In fact, sometimes when I think about it, helping and praying for others actually helps me take my mind off other things because it reminds me that I'm not the only one who suffers from physical, emotional, or spiritual issues. I don't want to be the center of attention and expect everyone to drop everything and pray for me. I too want to pray for others...I too want to be a minister to others physically, if I can, and spiritually through prayers. That is a lot of the reasons why I love to help out in my church. I too want to be that vessel God sent on earth to be a prayer warrior and a disciple to Christ. A friend on the worship team has told me that throughout my sickness, she has seen me as her mentor. I can't imagine what I did! As I shared with her, I told her "I should say that to you because you have been the one who has prayed for me." To which she replied "I see Christ in You as you go through this and has not seen me break down or turn from God." That my friends, was such a blessing to me and I praise God for that. Even in our own sicknesses, we never know who we are ministering to!
I love the above Scripture for so many reasons; it's such a great reminder of how God will always care for us. God sends us reminders in His words or even in His use of other people in my life. I have to say, I have been so blessed by so many people who has and continue to pray for me---praying for doctors to figure out my health issues and prayers for me not to loose faith. Prayers have been received by friends and even friends from long ago who heard about my illness...even friends of friends who has wanted to just come see me to minister to me! What a BLESSING. Reminders of God's love through His people is such a great comfort and joy. Another blessing is all the help I have received over the past months, all the calls, the support of my parents, and just being able to not worry too much about work and just having the ability to concentrate on getting well. It's a long road ahead of me; I continue to try not to loose faith; I will continue to live my life to glorify God, I will continue to seek the Love of Christ and his Faithfulness; I will remember that everything will be revealed in HIS TIME and I will always be continually grateful for the love of friends and family. Because we are all human, I can't promise I won't complain, but I promise to try hard not to and to be humble when asking for prayers.
So I humbly thank you for prayers......and pray it has not come across as discouraging or complaining. I thank God for a loving Church Family, my own family, and friends.
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