I remember..........

During these past few months, I struggle a lot and ask why. Yet I'm also learning to trust in God and remember all the good He has done in my life/

I don't remember all the names of the physicians that has taken care of me for 31 years at UVA,

but I do remember my 2 awesome attending physicians who has taken care of me (one has retired and one is still taken care of me). I remember the true concern and help they wanted to give me. And of course, my ONE TRUE PHYSICIAN!

I don't remember all the cards, gifts, etc and what they were or what they said

but the sincerity behind it, I will always remember. (Dad had brought down a bag of stuffed animals from the attic for me to go through to give away. Though I have forgotten who gave me what I refused to let him give them away because I told my folks...someone cared enough to give me this as a child, I want to keep it.)

I don't remember how many times Warren and Erma gave up their day to spend a day with me at the hospital during surgery;

but I do remember the hugs and kisses and unending love they showed to me as a child.

I don't remember how much pain I go through after each surgery or illness

but I remember the healing power of Christ (and of course those good narcotics!)

I don't remember how my prayers and what were the prayers said before my surgeries or during my sickness

but I remember the LOVE heard behind the prayers

I can't recall how many times I have been teased by strangers for the way I look

but I do remember the compliments of other people on the inward beauty I had

I can't remember how many times I've failed to look at Christ rather than my circumstances

but I do remember pastors and friends daily encouraging me through prayers and to constantly seek HIM

I don't remember how many times I've cried my heart and soul out to friends and family because I was so discouraged

but I remember each time I did cry, I always had someone to talk to and someone who loves me who was willing to hear me out and point me back to the Cross

Even as an adult, I don't remember having a time where I wasn't nervous ---no scared--- about surgery; esp this past year going through 2 in less than 6 months.

but I do remember having an outpouring of calls and prayers telling me that God is in control and that I needed to trust in Him

I don't remember fully understood why I struggle so much physically and had to go through a lot of surgeries since I was a baby

but I remember how each surgery (esp as a adult) or each sickness made me realize how mighty and how strong God really is.

I don't remember a year.....no, a month......no a week........where I never felt 100% well in over a year

but I do remember getting through the day and being thankful that though it was a tough day, I still was able to get through to it. I remember accepting that "this" is my new "normal" (When asked "How am I doing" my reply now is usually "okay". NOT because I feel great but because I've learned to savor each moment and to be content with what I do have. This sickness doesn't seem to go away or has the doctors seem to find a resolution; that is what I mean by I'm living a "new normal" now. I honestly don't remember when I had a day feeling completely well; but I do remember those days I don't feel horrible and those those days that God gives me to savor each moment and be content.)

I don't remember how many times I have heard "I love you" from family and friends

but I do remember those days that God daily shows HIS unfailing, unending, unfaltering love for me, even on days I turn from Him


I choose to remember these good things............and so much more.