Alaska! Pics to come.....

I have decided to go ahead and write a note sharing with you all my experience while in Alaska. I had wanted to wait til I got my computer back (my laptop is currently being repaired) and load pictures and share them along with my story, but I just decided that I couldn't wait. (oh, and for those of you who is wondering, I can't upload pics to my parent's computer only bc their computer memory is so low and can't upload it anyhow!)

Let me first share a background about this trip. This is how my journal to Alaska began. My very good friend Keren told me about Josh back in December. I was very intrigued and interested in her journeys with this fellow she had met. I finally got to met him one time in March, and again in April when Joshua took Keren and I out to eat THE DAY BEFORE MY SURGERY! He knew about it and so did Keren and I guess they just wanted me to have a good "last meal" to enjoy since I wouldn't be able to eat much afterwords. As I talked to them and got to know Josh, I immediately began to feel a connectedness to him, as my friends' beau and brother in Christ. I told Keren that night, but I thought he was a very sweet, gentle, kind, and Godly man and that I would keep them both in my prayers as they journey in their relationship and reminded them both to seek God as the Center to everything. A few weeks later, Keren posted on FB if anyone wanted to go Alaska with her. I commented "me me!", merely as a "wishful" thinking, not 100% serious because I knew I would run into stumbling blocks if I did really give a definite yes. When Keren saw I did want to go, she was ecstatic and I told her that I needed a lot of prayers first. You, see being 31 and almost 32 the end of this month. I have NEVER EVER EVER been on a trip on my own with friends. Trips were always with my family and mostly to see my relatives in NY. I was afraid of my parents chiding me and saying "no, don't go". After much prayer and counseling, I announced it was time for me to not worry about what others say and just "do it". (Also, during this time, Keren and Josh had really wanted me to go to Alaska.) I finally decided that I would go. Keren sent me her airline info, booked her tickets and sent the info to me. At that time, I was probably still about 25% unsure and excused myself by saying "I'll wait til a couple mo to see if prices would go down". Josh convinced me that the longer I want the more likely prices will escalate and that I may not be able to get the same flight as Keren. So, I booked it. I booked the tickets the beginning of May and our trip was set for Aug 3. Keren and I thought the day would NEVER come; I think I was more excited to go to Alaska because I have wanted to visit and also it was a test to myself that I am truly capable of traveling on my own with a friend.

Well, without going into all details from start to finish, Aug 3 finally came. We arrived in Fairbanks around 9:35pm or so (which means for the East Coast it was about 2am). We all ate something and then retired to go to bed. Josh treated us very respectfully and cooked breakfast for us each morning.......I just loved waking up to eggs on the griddle, smells of sausage....Mmmmm...

We went to a lot of places and it was fun. We went to a natural hot springs, Denail park, Mt. McKinely, North Pole, the fair,etc. I had fun in all places but one place in particular struck me. As we were driving to get to our designated place, we saw a lot of moose. Josh told us that in his years of living in Alaska, he had never seen so many moose in one week! THANK YOU GOD!. We probably saw over 15 while there in Alaska! We drove through Denali park and Mt. McKinley and stopped and enjoyed the view. This is where I experienced the awesomeness of God....

Yes, I was cold.....it was 55 degrees one day and the hottest it got was probably lower 70s! Anyhow, Denali park ride was probably my favorite of all places. Just viewing the mountains reminded me of Psalm 8: O Lord our Lord, how majestic is Your name in all the earth; You have set your glory above the heavens................. When I look at Your heavens the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him and the son of man that you care for him. The Psalms goes on about God's creation of animals. I thought to myself while just looking and reflecting on God's creation and beauty that God really is majestic and powerful. I asked (maybe more like commented) Keren and Josh "how in the world, can people see beauty like this and NOT believe there is a God?" I just didn't understand it and I just began to pray and rejoice that God calls me His own! I didn't want to leave....i wanted to just stay there and soak up everything.

As I looked at the mountains and it's beauty, I started to remember Brain C. It was the anniversary of Brian C's death. I knew Brian, but not well. I only knew of his love for others and for his God. I remembered how he helped me pack my apartment and help me move. I remember him placing his hands on me and praying over me that God would bless me and my new living situation. I remember his teasing me when I told him to put something somewhere and then him finding me changing things around. I remember if you said "I'm fine" and you really weren't, Brian, somehow knew it....and prayed with you. I remember his zeal for Christ and his love for people.....and most of all his hugs. NO ONE can hug like Brian did. You see, Brian loved the mountains and when I was looking at the HUGE mountains in Alaska that day, I started to remember him. I started to cry because I miss him, but most of all I prayed. I prayed so hard for my friend Gina (his sister) and her entire family. I knew it was a hard day for her and part of me really wanted to just be there to embrace my friend Gina. But when I started to pray and think about Gina, a calmness came across me like it never had before. I felt God speaking to me; I started to see and appreciate things we take so much for granted.

Just the beauty of Alaska was breath-taking. Keren and I joked and said "ok we saw a lot of animals except a grizzly bear....we want to see one". Josh said it is very rare to see one....but GUESS WHAT? No more than 5 minutes pasted and WE SAW ONE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!! This also made me just be so appreciative of God and his Works. God knew we wanted to see one and HE made that happen! How cool is that?? Even Josh said he has rarely ever seen one! WOW!

I learned more about Josh and his love for Keren. I adore him so much and I told him that he is the perfect example to me that he sees inward beauty and not outward beauty. Every day, he would tell Keren and I how lucky he was to have two beautiful women going places with him. He would say "you are beautiful" not just to Keren, but to me as well. Just by the look of his face, the tone of his voice, and the gentle hugs he gives me, I know he meant it! I enjoyed watching the two of them interact and one day he told me he wrote a poem to Keren the day he proposed to her. I loved the poem and teased him that since I was the "chaperon " (not really but jokingly), he owned me a poem as well.

Another thing I learned while in Alaska was just the simplicity of life. You go with what you have. Josh's cabin (which he graciously let us use!) works on solar power and if needed, a generator. He has a huge garden. His shower only holds up to 5 gallons of water. His bathroom well.........it's an outhouse. A REAL outhouse. When I first saw this I thought to myself "oh my". But I got used to it very very quickly. I came home realizing that God has taught me a lesson during this trip. I had learned that I can't let my life be dictated by others and was so glad I didn't let anyone talk me out of going to Alaska with my friend Keren. For the FIRST time I actually felt like a grown up, making my own decisions and trusting God my decisions were good. I learned to really soak in God's glory and creation. I have a renewed sense of joy when I see wild animals and still couldn't believe we saw so many moose and a bear! Most of all, I learned the simplicity of life. I had very little health issues while up there, and my stress level and anxiety was hardly even evident (except during flying on the plane).. While living the "simple" life while staying in the cabin, I thought to myself "I can do this....I don't need cell phone, computers, internet, etc to make me happy". I have never had such an inward peace as I did while up there. And Josh.....wow. Josh is perfect for my good friend Keren. His love for her is so evident and so is his love for her friends. He encouraged me a lot during my stay up there as I shared with him a little of the struggles of life that I go through (and I haven't told many people). He encouraged me so much that I almost said "yes" to Keren when she asked me to move to Alaska with her! I'll miss her so much when she moves, but I know she will be lead by a very Godly man. His prayers, concern, and brotherly love, is very evident.

I also came home with a much happier and lighter heart. Just knowing I was able to vacation on my own may sound trivial but it was a stepping stone for me. My heart still is light and full of joy. I shared this with my Pastor for Worship and he even commented how he can tell by my face and my voice that it was truly a worthwhile experience. Words can't describe the feelings I have. I know that just daily being in the beauty of God's creation up in the mountains of Alaska did a wonder for me emotionally as well as physically!

.....and oh, I made a new fried. Aimee is Josh's dog. I'm usually allergic to a lot of dogs but I never had any issues with Aimee. Josh told me she must really like me because he saw things Aimee do that he told me she never does for just anyone. That made me happy.

And for those of you interested.........here is the poem he wrote for me and emailed me. I'll treasure it always:

Becky the Beautiful

Becky the beautiful

The all so beautiful

Your smile brightens a gloomy day

With a golden heart, in which kindness flows every which way

Becky the beautiful

The all so beautiful

Your friendship is valued above the richest treasure

A loving, wonderful woman for which there is no measure

Becky the beautiful

The all so beautiful

Your smile your laugh, your warm embrace...

For a woman, true beauty lies skin deep

God is good.........so good. My anxiety level has never been "low" as it had been since my trip to Alaska. It's amazing the things God uses to help you in an emotional and spiritual level.