Strong Enough

"Look at me Yeeyee.....look!! I'm soooo strong!"  My niece Caitlyn said as she showed off her muscles to me after eating all her asparagus my mom put on her plate.  "Wow Catie...you are strong!!! Good for you for eating all your asparagus! Mama and Daddy will be proud of you!  Caitlyn asks me if she will be just as strong as her daddy.   She hopes to one day; I tell her she needs to eat healthy and eat her meats and veggies (which she does well).   Last weekend she knew I wasn't feeling well, she told me the pot was too heavy for me to put away so she said " no Becky, I will put it away, it's too heavy for you.. you can rest."


*Sigh*, if only strength were as easy as eating your veggies and depending on a 4 year old to put away a pot.  
 But this is not the strength I'm talking about.    I'm talking about the struggles that seems to suffocate me daily.    I'm reminded  by the words of Matthew West:

I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not strong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

Cause I'm broken
Down to nothing
But I'm still holding on to the one thing
You are God
and you are strong
When I am weak



Ever felt so sure of yourself that you could do something on your own, only to find your self in a bind.  Tired, lacking strength and energy to continue on with the task?    We probably all have done this at least once in our life.  I know I have, more than once.  Just because I wanted it to be done MY way and wanted it to be done in my definition of "perfect"

  Many of you friends have come to me and have told me what and inspiration of strength and contentment I show.   Again, honestly I really  don't really feel as if I have that kind of strength.   Sometimes I feel like I lack a lot of strength and courage.   I daily looked to my Father for Strength and Courage.   And I do know that God is wrapping his hands around me in HIS LOVE and HIS MERCY.   Honestly, if it weren't for Christ in my life, I'd have easily given up long ago.   Another honest point I think of is, how easy is it for me to just grunt, stomp, scream, complain & that this isn't fair.
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   This past year has been very hard; these past few months has been rough.   Many times I've felt lost and torn.  We are broken; Christ is the Healer.  He isn't just the Healer but He is also our Strength.  GOD. NEVER. FAILS.  He is always STRONG.  I've always find strength in Him.   I take every morsel of help from God through the graciousness of God's people.  I find it a comfort when someone calls me just to pray with me on the phone.   You see, the church I grew up in, that NEVER happened.  I love when I used to live in H'burg when people stopped by for just hug, I loved unexpected meals (even though my mom was able to cook but those meals were a treat for all of us and less stress for my mom).   These are what help strengthen people---(how the Lord uses others).    As more hard trials come up,  my reaction is : It is SO HARD,...this stinks!!  I won't lie.  In fact, certain close friends can tell and see the fear in my eyes and knows when my "ok" really isn't an "ok"... or when I can just burst into tears.    I find that strength from the Lord....little bit here.... little bit there,  in forms of prayers, hugs, laughter, togetherness, singing, etc..... until that strength is so big that I can march forward hand-in-hand with my Savior. 

Disclaimer:  I'm not asking for you all to do any of the things I mentioned: I'm just saying what has been doing is part of what helps strengthen me and may help others as well!