Stumbling

A few nights ago, I had an unusual dream.  I was dreaming that I was up front on stage at church (Covenant Presbyterian) with a few members of the worship team, our Pastor of Worship, and our ASP kids, and ASP leader.   All of us were positioning ourselves upfront to get ready to help the ASP do their annual Christmas program.   As I was trying to stand up front (with my back facing the audience) to help the children, my foot slipped and I fell.  Not sure how that happened, but I fell.   Two people cane to my aide to help me get up. Once I got up and they let go of me, I fell AGAIN.  I was horrified, but I refused to step away and sit down.  I even went as far as to take my shoes off but I still kept falling, repeatedly; I refused to hold on to anything or anyone.......  that's when I woke up and realized it was just a dream.......

It's interesting the lessons we can learn from our dreams.   I was reminded once again that when we fall, God is always ready and willing to pick us right back up.  God is our Protector and our Comforter.  He is our Friend and our only true Source of Strength.  He is our rail to which we hold tightly on so that even in our weakest moments we have SomeOne to hold on too.

Going for any kind of medical stuff at UVA (even a doctor's visit) isn't any fun for me.  Actually, even going to any doctor close by here isn't fun.  Of course you guys are thinking "that's obvious". I feel as if I can just forward my mail to either hospital and I will still get it.  I hate it.  I'm tired of it.  I'm tired of being sick at the time and tired of how my immune system seems to become worse and worse.  I'm also tired of not knowing the cause of all these issues that are going on inside of me.  The pain sometimes is just too much.    These, my friends, is what I stumble upon over and over.

But I know the Hands of God are out there to help me not to stumble, if only I would take them.   There are Hands out there who will lift up me when I do fall, if I allow those Hands to lift me up,   It's all about Grace.  It's all about Love.  It's all about Acceptance.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Decision, Goodbyes, True Healer

  EIGHT  MONTHS---REALLY? I n many ways, I can barely grasp that I have been on this chemo medication for 8 months already.   This means, I   had 9 visits with the oncologists, 9 blood draws,   4 ECHOs, 4 EKGS, 3 neuro-ophthalmology exams,   and 3 MRIs (related to my chemo drug—it includes initial baseline check, one in May, and one just recently on August 25 th which went much smoother).   I actually had a 4 th one but it’s unrelated to the chemo drug, but still related to my disorder).      If you remember from my previous posts, the chemo meds has been really hard on my body; there were so many times I really wondered how much longer I could endure the “fire” on my scalp, or the pain in my legs.    Back in July, the pain in my scalp, face started to get extremely bad.   After completing my 21 day cycle/28 day cycle, we noticed that even with my usual scheduled one-week break from the medication, my sores continued t...
Read more

Thankful for Pastors in our Midst----

It's past 2:45 AM and I'm still awake. I've been awake since 9a.m. without any naps which is unusual for me. I've been in my bed since 11pm and I can't seem to shut my mind off.  There's so much going on in my heart and my mind that I can't seem to just "turn off"  It has relatively little to do with the amount of physical pain I'm in tonight nor does it have little to do with upcoming medical procedures.  I just have a lot on my mind.  Some good things; some sad things; so praiseworthy things, some heart wrenching things, etc. Today for all you VA folks, know how blistering cold it was today; I have to be extra careful about not getting sick due to my low immunity; plus with my horrible pain scale today, I just couldn't make it to church.  I wanted to make it to either the early morning service or the Thanksgiving service my church had to night combined with the formal Installation Service of the official (should I say "dubbing??...
Read more

In My Need I Seek Your Help.......

Image
There hasn’t been a huge change in things regarding my health since my last update/blog post.    My pain management doctor has tried a different form of non-steroid/non medication injection (for my abdominal pain) that seems to help some (to be explained later in the post).   It may need to take a few tries to see if this treatment works; that is, if I decide if I want to continue this kind of treatment.   As for my head pain and neck pain, my neurologist is doing all he can for now with medication therapy; and working along with my pain management doctor who is holding off other forms of treatment until he can slow down things with my abdominal pain.   In the meantime, I get some relief by going to my chiropractor/kinetic energy doctor in town.   I continue to be grateful for the doctors I have –those who are not giving up on me and trying very hard to try to find a solution to the cause of all this pain.   So far, my pain man...
Read more