God's Providence
In my previous post, I shared with you that my time with the boys and girls at VBS was wonderful; not just having time with them and helping them learn, but also reminding me about God's love. It also revealed something to me as well. It revealed to me that things do happen for a reason and that a certain choice I made the previous week was definitely in God's providence.
Background
Some of you may know of my plans to join a team at Cov-Pres to go to East Asia for a short term mission trip for a little less than 2 weeks. I felt that God was really calling me to serve in this area and I was getting ready and all excited. Concerns about my health arose from the leaders of the trip and I assured them that I would be okay. Same concerns came up from my Mom; I began to second guess myself. I talked to one of the leaders of the trip and he told me to take time with my decision; but I had a few days before the plane tickets were to be booked. During those days, I sought counsel from others whom I love and trust. All of them told me the same thing, which basically was that God can still use me here to work in East Asia through many ways, and if there is another opportunity, I can go another time. I prayed all day, and that night I felt at peace with my decision, that my services through prayer and support here in the states would probably be best for my health at the present moment. I was at peace with it yes.....but I was also broken hearted; it was like, I had lost something.
So then, VBS week started. I put those feelings behind me and geared my spirit into VBS mode. I was a VBS Crew Leader Mentor. I got to know a lot of the boys and girls. The smiles, the laughter...just watching them, well, be kids! I loved watching them pray. I loved watching them sing. I loved watching their creativity burst open. But you know what? Honesty setting in: Crew Leaders had to be there around 8:40am and didn't leave until about 12:30p or so....I was EXHAUSTED and in so much pain (both my head/neck area and abdominal region) afterwards. (note: I wouldn't trade it for the world though, if God wills, I'd volunteer again next year!) There were days I would wake up and not feel well, but I still wanted to spend time with my crew at VBS because they are such a delight to me and I knew it was only for a few hours. The only day I didn't go to VBS was Wednesday when I saw my neurologist. By him just looking at me and doing a quick neuro exam on my head, he could tell the pain has gotten worse; by just touching parts of the back of my head and neck, he can feel the tension. He told me, my best bet really is increasing one of my muscle relaxer and decreasing "intense" activities. WHAT??????? *sigh*
So then, I went back to VBS the next day and told Pastor Joe (one of the leaders for the East Asia trip) what my doctor had told me as well how just less than 1/2 day with just kids wore me out. I also told him that every day I seem to feel more and more at peace with my decision about the trip. His response was so true: He told me that my early decision of deciding not to go was all in God's providence. I never thought about that, and it's so true. If I can't handle less than 1/2 day with kids, I certainly can't go on for a long day on the mission field.
Along with decreasing intense activities (which I really have done already), my doctor has started me on physical therapy for the head and neck; this is in hopes that some of the tightness and tension can be relived. The doctor has specifically ordered things like deep tissue massage, ultrasonic heat, etc. So, please pray that this will help the pain.
Through all this, I'm continuing to try to keep my eyes fixed upon Him. He has been so gracious me to me through all of this.
Background
Some of you may know of my plans to join a team at Cov-Pres to go to East Asia for a short term mission trip for a little less than 2 weeks. I felt that God was really calling me to serve in this area and I was getting ready and all excited. Concerns about my health arose from the leaders of the trip and I assured them that I would be okay. Same concerns came up from my Mom; I began to second guess myself. I talked to one of the leaders of the trip and he told me to take time with my decision; but I had a few days before the plane tickets were to be booked. During those days, I sought counsel from others whom I love and trust. All of them told me the same thing, which basically was that God can still use me here to work in East Asia through many ways, and if there is another opportunity, I can go another time. I prayed all day, and that night I felt at peace with my decision, that my services through prayer and support here in the states would probably be best for my health at the present moment. I was at peace with it yes.....but I was also broken hearted; it was like, I had lost something.
So then, VBS week started. I put those feelings behind me and geared my spirit into VBS mode. I was a VBS Crew Leader Mentor. I got to know a lot of the boys and girls. The smiles, the laughter...just watching them, well, be kids! I loved watching them pray. I loved watching them sing. I loved watching their creativity burst open. But you know what? Honesty setting in: Crew Leaders had to be there around 8:40am and didn't leave until about 12:30p or so....I was EXHAUSTED and in so much pain (both my head/neck area and abdominal region) afterwards. (note: I wouldn't trade it for the world though, if God wills, I'd volunteer again next year!) There were days I would wake up and not feel well, but I still wanted to spend time with my crew at VBS because they are such a delight to me and I knew it was only for a few hours. The only day I didn't go to VBS was Wednesday when I saw my neurologist. By him just looking at me and doing a quick neuro exam on my head, he could tell the pain has gotten worse; by just touching parts of the back of my head and neck, he can feel the tension. He told me, my best bet really is increasing one of my muscle relaxer and decreasing "intense" activities. WHAT??????? *sigh*
So then, I went back to VBS the next day and told Pastor Joe (one of the leaders for the East Asia trip) what my doctor had told me as well how just less than 1/2 day with just kids wore me out. I also told him that every day I seem to feel more and more at peace with my decision about the trip. His response was so true: He told me that my early decision of deciding not to go was all in God's providence. I never thought about that, and it's so true. If I can't handle less than 1/2 day with kids, I certainly can't go on for a long day on the mission field.
Along with decreasing intense activities (which I really have done already), my doctor has started me on physical therapy for the head and neck; this is in hopes that some of the tightness and tension can be relived. The doctor has specifically ordered things like deep tissue massage, ultrasonic heat, etc. So, please pray that this will help the pain.
Through all this, I'm continuing to try to keep my eyes fixed upon Him. He has been so gracious me to me through all of this.
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