Learning to Be "Still" and Have Faith


I haven't updated for a couple of weeks mainly because I feel as if I sound like a broken record, repeating myself over and over again.   Nothing really is "new" with me.   I started physical therapy last Monday (8/12) for my neck and clavicle.  My neurologist feels that it is worth a try because he believes that the pain that is shooting in my neck can cause the pain I feel in the back of my head; which at times is very very agonizing.  It feels as if someone is taking two bricks and trying to smash my head together.  PT is 1-2 times a week and so far I've only had two treatments.  I'm going to Augusta Health for therapy and really enjoy the staff there.  I've had PT there several times before and love the staff there, and decided to keep going there (plus it's only 15 min away from my home).  Right now, they are only doing gentle massages; and from there I'm not sure where it will progress to.  For the past two weeks, I've been in a lot of pain with my head and my neck; and at times the pain would be so sharp that it would wake me up in the middle of the night.   To top it off, I'm once again in that cycle of pain in my abdomen and at times it's shooting to my back.   I'm trying to eat as I can without getting sick; but sometimes it is rough.   I'm hoping and praying for answers; and trying to lean on God, trying to have Faith; trying to be STILL and know God is there holding me, and carrying me through all of this.


Several weeks ago,  my family and I went to visit my sister and her family in Richmond.  I enjoy being able to go to her church Grace Bible Church.  (Side note, we live in a small world.....one of my friends from JMU goes there and it was so fun to see her there; AND I met the mother of one of my friends there that I knew from BRCC....).    Everyone there is so nice.  In fact, before I got really sick and unable to work, I was looking for jobs in Richmond; one of prospects was near this area. I had already decided that if it was God's will for me to move there, I knew this church would be a good church for me.  God had different plans for me, as you can tell!   But, I digress....... 

When I went to Grace Bible, with my family a few weeks ago, (8/11),  God really had spoke through Pastor Rich and I've always meant to email him about it.   He talked about faith.  Faith.  Wow.  I needed to hear this.  I didn't have a paper and a pen; so I got out my smart phone and started pecking away on my smartphone.  Then I thought to myself "oh, geez, people must think I'm texting someone!!"  The thought slipped my mind quickly as I hurried away "taking notes"  (it's hard to peck away on a smartphone....good thing, he left his "point A"; point B", etc on the screen!).    I still have those notes on my phone and I've been reading it over and over.   One thing he stressed in his point was that God promised us that NOTHING can separate us from the love of God; therefore, this should be a reason that our faith should be firm.  God uses trials only to humble us; the devil uses it to bring us down in hopes that we will slander God.   This is a concept I needed to hear and reminded of over and over again and again.

My own church Covenant Presbyterian Church has been a huge influence and help for me too.  I have so many loving friends, deacons, elders, and teaching elders.   This past Sunday, I was asking one of the elders a general question, and after he answered my question; he asked me what could he pray for me about.  When I told him,  he took time to pray for me and with me.   After that, I couldn't help but cry tears of thanks.   I really do have a loving church family.

I am tired of all this pain. So.very.tired.  Tired of tests; meds, etc.  I wish there were answers and I wish there was a cure.    But despite it,  I try to strive on.  Why?  Because Christ is my foundation.





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