In Midst of Restlessness and Pain, there Is Love
For the past several weeks, I have had quite a few nights of restlessness. I would lay in bed and can't sleep. I would give in and take my Klonopin and nothing happens. I try to lay in my bed with my eyes closed, occasionally soft music in the background, prayers in my heart. Nothing happens. I'm restless, not necessarily from pain (although probably 2/3rd of the time it probably is from the pain; but I can't do much about it because the doctors are being really careful about what medications/how much narcotics I'm given, which is NOT much AT ALL.). So I sit up in bed, turn my lamp on, and try to read a book. I do a lot of reading these days, so you can image the amount of tangible books I have as well as e-books I have on my Kindle (including the Bible). I'll read a chapter or two. Sometimes I use that time to collect my thoughts about what to write on my blog or take time to pray for others. Other times, I'll pop in a comedy DVD like Gomer Pyle, USMC or watch Andy Griffith on Netflix, and watch a couple episodes and try the sleep thing again. At times, it's just a battle to just find sleep. I would wake up the next morning around 9:30ish or 10ish and think to myself I feel so bad waking up so late, but then think....."well, the last time I remember seeing the clock it was 2:45am or 3am!" GRACE
A few weeks ago, I had talked to my Pain Management Doctor, Dr. Lee about how my abdominal pain has been somewhat less frequent but has moved to my backside and around. I explained to him how this pain (as well as the head/neck pain) has been keeping me up at night and that I have had a lot of restlessness and that even taking naps was out of the question. He was very concerned about this and had squeezed me in to see the very next day (Jan 24th). I had shown symptoms of nerve problems in the hip/gluteal nerve area, so he schedule another nerve block for the following week (Jan 30). This time, I opted to be completely awake and aware the entire time, only because it would be forever to work me into his schedule for "sedation" nerve block. On the day of the nerve block, it wasn't as bad as I had anticipated. However, I did end up with tingling feeling in my legs and hip for a day which was to be expected, but it was quite a funny feeling. My hip area is doing okay now, it still is somewhat sore but not as bad as it was. However, I'm having more abdominal issues; Dr Lee had told me that with the show he gave me on Jan 2, He thought I was doing quite well considering the length of time given. I am suppose to call him later this week to give him an update about the hip shot. From there, we are re-visiting another abdominal nerve block.
So Friday, I was still sore from the needle poke, plus I was having really horrible head and neck pain. I was just not feeling well at all. In addition, my upper stomach was hurting and I was nauseated. I remained in bed most of the afternoon. Thank God for leftovers because I was in no mood to cook! My Dad walks in my room and hands me a stack of mail. I'm thinking to myself "oh great, more doctor bills....yay." As I sort through the mail, "bill, bill, junk, oh, letter from a friend!"
I quickly open this piece of mail (I mean, really, who wants to open up bills, right?), it was from two sweet girls: they said they are thinking about me and that they care about me. These girls are very dear to me.....their Mom is a true inspiration to me. These two girls would occasionally send cards to me which ALWAYS makes my day and ALWAYS puts a smile on my face. I love getting mail from anyone, but something about getting mail from children just brings happy tears to my eyes and joy to my heart.
The letter didn't take away the pain; the letter reminded me about God's goodness, faithfulness, and graciousness. The letter reminded me that I'm not alone, though I feel alone at times. The letter reminded me that children's heart is so tender that they, too can love on others who are hurting, whether it is physical or emotional.
A few weeks ago, I had talked to my Pain Management Doctor, Dr. Lee about how my abdominal pain has been somewhat less frequent but has moved to my backside and around. I explained to him how this pain (as well as the head/neck pain) has been keeping me up at night and that I have had a lot of restlessness and that even taking naps was out of the question. He was very concerned about this and had squeezed me in to see the very next day (Jan 24th). I had shown symptoms of nerve problems in the hip/gluteal nerve area, so he schedule another nerve block for the following week (Jan 30). This time, I opted to be completely awake and aware the entire time, only because it would be forever to work me into his schedule for "sedation" nerve block. On the day of the nerve block, it wasn't as bad as I had anticipated. However, I did end up with tingling feeling in my legs and hip for a day which was to be expected, but it was quite a funny feeling. My hip area is doing okay now, it still is somewhat sore but not as bad as it was. However, I'm having more abdominal issues; Dr Lee had told me that with the show he gave me on Jan 2, He thought I was doing quite well considering the length of time given. I am suppose to call him later this week to give him an update about the hip shot. From there, we are re-visiting another abdominal nerve block.
So Friday, I was still sore from the needle poke, plus I was having really horrible head and neck pain. I was just not feeling well at all. In addition, my upper stomach was hurting and I was nauseated. I remained in bed most of the afternoon. Thank God for leftovers because I was in no mood to cook! My Dad walks in my room and hands me a stack of mail. I'm thinking to myself "oh great, more doctor bills....yay." As I sort through the mail, "bill, bill, junk, oh, letter from a friend!"
I quickly open this piece of mail (I mean, really, who wants to open up bills, right?), it was from two sweet girls: they said they are thinking about me and that they care about me. These girls are very dear to me.....their Mom is a true inspiration to me. These two girls would occasionally send cards to me which ALWAYS makes my day and ALWAYS puts a smile on my face. I love getting mail from anyone, but something about getting mail from children just brings happy tears to my eyes and joy to my heart.
The letter didn't take away the pain; the letter reminded me about God's goodness, faithfulness, and graciousness. The letter reminded me that I'm not alone, though I feel alone at times. The letter reminded me that children's heart is so tender that they, too can love on others who are hurting, whether it is physical or emotional.
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