New York, Family, Tears, Joy, ABBA
Last Monday, the 31st, my parents and I set out on a 8 hr trip up to NY to visit family. Unfortunately, because of sickness in the extended family, we were only able to see part of our extended family. It was disappointing to not be able to see my Uncle Nelson (my Mom's brother) and his family, but I did get my cousin David (the youngest male cousin) which was nice. It was good to spend time with my Aunt Maypo (Mom's sister), uncle, and cousins....and of course, my 2 nieces (or 2nd cousins). Last time I saw them, they were in DC area visiting sites; we were able to see them briefly.
If you know NY at all, you know that parking is terrible, especially in midtown/uptown NY and if you find parking, KEEP YOUR CAR THERE! The place where we stayed is a mile away from my cousin's condo so we would walked every day to her place. I would have to pace myself, but walking along the pier was really great and beautiful during the morning as we well as coming back at night. I never knew how beautiful NY could be a night, especially walking along the pier. There was an occasion that I was feeling fairly well, so Mom and I walked about 2.5 miles along the pier (this was the only night that it wasn't windy or bone chillin' cold). Another thing we had to do is go into China town quiet often (they live uptown; China town is in midtown). Luckily there is a free connection bus that will take you "close" enough to China town so you don't have to walk so much. The first time when we took the connection bus, I kind of got confused because after we got off, we ended up walking (what seemed like forever) and passed city hall, the NY supreme court, the city park, city library, etc etc. Finally (maybe after a mile) we got to an area I recognized!
Besides our visiting family, one of the other reasons we went up to NY was to go the the cemetery and pay respects to many of our passed away loved ones. This entailed a long Thursday, and if you know me, I can't handle too much activity in one day because of my health and pain levels. In Chinese custom, there is usually a annual visitation time where you visit the grave, pay respects, burn incense, etc; it goes into details that I myself don't 100% fully understand but it comes around this time of year and always falls around the "Palm / Easter" time of year (it doesn't mean you can't visit the grave any other times in the year). Thursday was though. I knew what was ahead of me. We were going to visit my great-grandmother grave (my grandfather's Mom, we were going to visit my great grandparents Ng grave; then my grandparents Lau grave (my grandmother who died recently last year and my grandfather who died the year I started to have all my health complication). I was NOT at all looking forward to visiting my grandparents' grave. My great grandmother Leung (I never knew) and my grandparents Leung (I did know; even though grandpa Leung died when I was 3, I remember glimpses of him; gma Leung died when I was 13) graves were in the cemetery "next exit down" so we visited their graves as well. I was not feeling well the night before. I didn't sleep well the night before. I was in a lot of pain that morning. I was nauseated and my anxiety was sky high. I could have used all those "legitimate excuses and not have gone to the join my families in paying respect to my grandparents and great grandparents. "But my side hurts and I'm in a lot of pain; my head hurts and it's going to make for a long day!" Oh, how tempted I was to just say that. I could have easily walked away from what lied before me and just stayed behind and played with my nieces. But, I knew I couldn't. I knew I would regret it. I knew the day would be extremely long and extremely hard, not just emotionally; but physically as well.
After morning routines etc and getting ready to leave, I got my bag and threw my meds, sunshades, water bottles, etc into my bag. I grabbed my Chinese sponge cake (which really is more like a muffin that has hardly any gluten in it) and headed out the door with my parents to go over to pick up my aunt and uncle to meet my cousin David so he could lead us to where the cemetery is. I was fine until we got to my grandparents Lau site. It's where I lost it... it was just TOO HARD; but I hid my brokenness so well... I didn't want to cause anyone else to become upset (that's just me). I knelt there beside my grandmother's grave with so many words spinning in my head.......but nothing coherent enough to be put into a sentence. My heart was heavy and my body was tired. I was worn out emotionally as well as physically. Eventually, we left. We all got into the car. I scurried into my bag to get my water bottle as well as my pain medication because at this point, I was into 4 hrs w/o pain medicine and I needed it with all the walking. I found my iPod in my bag. I gasp and wondered "Did I grab this without realizing it?" I didn't care at that point, I just decided to put the plugs in my ear and push play and hear whatever song that came on (at that point, I wasn't being anti-social....I think my Mom and my Aunt were doing fine w/o my getting into the conversation!). After putting in the earphones, I pushed play, and this song came on:
In Christ Alone (I Place My Trust)
My source of Strength; my source of Hope, is Christ Alone
Right after that song, this song came on:
Oh, how appropriate it was for my very broken heart at that time. It was the perfect song that I needed to hear:
"The sun comes up it's a new day dawning; it's time to sing the song again! Whatever may pass and whatever lies before us, let me be singing when the evening comes" Bless the Lord oh my soul! Oh...oh my soul! Worship His holy name! Sing like never before, oh my soul. I'll worship Your holy name!"
Know what? It WAS a long day. We didn't get back until almost 5:30; we didn't eat lunch til almost 3! (stupid NY traffic!) Know what else? I WAS in a lot of pain..... dumb uneven terrains cemetery lots....ugh, so tired of all this unexplained bodily pain/head pain!!! Did I regret going? Not the least bit.
Well, we finally got back to my cousin's condo and we all were settling in and resting. After a while, we had some dinner; and while my Mom and aunt talked, I took some time to spend with my two nieces; playing games or helping them with homework or just being plain silly; it was a perfect way to end a long and tiring day........at 8:30pm. Yes, I was that tired.
As always, God continues to prove Himself faithful to me....in song and reminders of verses going throughout my head and my heart throughout the day and the rest of our trip as well as encouraging words through friends. GOD. IS. GOOD.
If you know NY at all, you know that parking is terrible, especially in midtown/uptown NY and if you find parking, KEEP YOUR CAR THERE! The place where we stayed is a mile away from my cousin's condo so we would walked every day to her place. I would have to pace myself, but walking along the pier was really great and beautiful during the morning as we well as coming back at night. I never knew how beautiful NY could be a night, especially walking along the pier. There was an occasion that I was feeling fairly well, so Mom and I walked about 2.5 miles along the pier (this was the only night that it wasn't windy or bone chillin' cold). Another thing we had to do is go into China town quiet often (they live uptown; China town is in midtown). Luckily there is a free connection bus that will take you "close" enough to China town so you don't have to walk so much. The first time when we took the connection bus, I kind of got confused because after we got off, we ended up walking (what seemed like forever) and passed city hall, the NY supreme court, the city park, city library, etc etc. Finally (maybe after a mile) we got to an area I recognized!
Besides our visiting family, one of the other reasons we went up to NY was to go the the cemetery and pay respects to many of our passed away loved ones. This entailed a long Thursday, and if you know me, I can't handle too much activity in one day because of my health and pain levels. In Chinese custom, there is usually a annual visitation time where you visit the grave, pay respects, burn incense, etc; it goes into details that I myself don't 100% fully understand but it comes around this time of year and always falls around the "Palm / Easter" time of year (it doesn't mean you can't visit the grave any other times in the year). Thursday was though. I knew what was ahead of me. We were going to visit my great-grandmother grave (my grandfather's Mom
After morning routines etc and getting ready to leave, I got my bag and threw my meds, sunshades, water bottles, etc into my bag. I grabbed my Chinese sponge cake (which really is more like a muffin that has hardly any gluten in it) and headed out the door with my parents to go over to pick up my aunt and uncle to meet my cousin David so he could lead us to where the cemetery is. I was fine until we got to my grandparents Lau site. It's where I lost it... it was just TOO HARD; but I hid my brokenness so well... I didn't want to cause anyone else to become upset (that's just me). I knelt there beside my grandmother's grave with so many words spinning in my head.......but nothing coherent enough to be put into a sentence. My heart was heavy and my body was tired. I was worn out emotionally as well as physically. Eventually, we left. We all got into the car. I scurried into my bag to get my water bottle as well as my pain medication because at this point, I was into 4 hrs w/o pain medicine and I needed it with all the walking. I found my iPod in my bag. I gasp and wondered "Did I grab this without realizing it?" I didn't care at that point, I just decided to put the plugs in my ear and push play and hear whatever song that came on (at that point, I wasn't being anti-social....I think my Mom and my Aunt were doing fine w/o my getting into the conversation!). After putting in the earphones, I pushed play, and this song came on:
In Christ Alone (I Place My Trust)
My source of Strength; my source of Hope, is Christ Alone
Right after that song, this song came on:
Oh, how appropriate it was for my very broken heart at that time. It was the perfect song that I needed to hear:
"The sun comes up it's a new day dawning; it's time to sing the song again! Whatever may pass and whatever lies before us, let me be singing when the evening comes" Bless the Lord oh my soul! Oh...oh my soul! Worship His holy name! Sing like never before, oh my soul. I'll worship Your holy name!"
Know what? It WAS a long day. We didn't get back until almost 5:30; we didn't eat lunch til almost 3! (stupid NY traffic!) Know what else? I WAS in a lot of pain..... dumb uneven terrains cemetery lots....ugh, so tired of all this unexplained bodily pain/head pain!!! Did I regret going? Not the least bit.
Well, we finally got back to my cousin's condo and we all were settling in and resting. After a while, we had some dinner; and while my Mom and aunt talked, I took some time to spend with my two nieces; playing games or helping them with homework or just being plain silly; it was a perfect way to end a long and tiring day........at 8:30pm. Yes, I was that tired.
As always, God continues to prove Himself faithful to me....in song and reminders of verses going throughout my head and my heart throughout the day and the rest of our trip as well as encouraging words through friends. GOD. IS. GOOD.
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