Finding God Through Pain
About, three weeks ago, I had a follow-up visit with my pain management doctor, Dr. Davis. In the beginning of August, I had a procedure done to help alleviate some pain on my lower right quadrant, so it was just a re-check to see how I was doing. I was actually looking forward to this visit because Dr. Davis also knew about my neck injury from the car accident back in February. He wanted me to wait a few months before doing anything, but my pain was getting worse and worse, so I decided to go ahead and mention it again before the claim for the other guy's insurance try to settle.
When I got to the office and try to register, two people were basically on my top of me. One was less than an arm's length beside me and another one was less than a foot behind me. The person who registered me was "giving out" (confirming) my address/phone number/insurance. I kept looking at them with a deep glare/stare but they didn't get my "gist"; and I was saying "excuse me" and they said "ok, you're okay, go ahead". I was getting more and more annoyed by the minute. Believe me, I complained (*ahem* expressed my concern) when I got into the exam room.
Whenever I go to the Pain Management center, I always have to fill out the the same old paper work.....it gets kind of dull. What's your pain today? What's your pain this year? Where's your pain today? etc etc etc....... Well, that day, I wasn't feeling well at all. My head was hurting so much including my neck, I was already sick with a sinus infection; oh, and don't forget that I was still very upset have two stranger standing so close to me hearing my personal info! So you can imagine filling out the paper work was something I was not in the mood to do As I was filling out the paperwork, there was a lady sitting beside me, and started to talk to an older gentleman across her. Part of the conversation went something like this:
W: I just hope that I can get some kind of relief.
M: Well, I hope so too, it's better than surgery
W: Oh,****, I've had the most surgeries ever for everything
M: How many?
W: like 10 or 15 (starts naming her surgeries.... but uses a four letter word before naming each body area she had surgery)
M: Oh, that's too bad dear lady; I just hope he can help your back without surgery
W: I'd be * lucky if it does!
*******
At first, when as I was hearing this conversation, I was a bit annoyed. I was thinking "ok, lady, you have absolutely no right to complain about having 10-12 surgeries in your lifetime and say it's the *most* Because I've had at least 50+, I know friends who had 20+. I also got super annoyed at the *f and s* words, and was thinking "uh, I'm in A LOT of pain too, but you don't need to curse!"
....But then, I stopped. And realized. Perhaps this lady needed more than just pain management. Maybe she needed more than just surgeries to repair whatever needed to be repaired. Perhaps she needed more than just an ear to vent off her frustrations to a perfection stranger. Perhaps she needed more than "reassurance" of "i hope this treatment works". In my heart I was thinking of all the negativity in her talking, and not realizing that perhaps this lady needs to see God in all of this.
I'm not saying that if you are a Christian and you have faith and trust in God all your pain will go away. By no means, that is not true. I have horrible pain; my depression is very real. And I do loose faith (more times than ever); but we always seem to find our way back to the arms of Christ and that is what matters. I don't know the purpose of this pain; but I know it's in God's plan. Yes, it stinks; yes it's so very very hard. I don't understand it; and I don't understand how it is used as a blessing to others, but I'm glad it does.
I wanted to talk to the lady, but I ended up getting called back to see the doctor. I never did finish the paperwork, but it wasn't a big deal because the nurse usually just transfers all the information into the computer, so she just asked me!
I ended up getting an x-ray to see the 2 specific areas in my neck C2/C3 shows something, so we are now discussion options of treatment. I will let everyone know what we decide as soon as my doctor and I discuss it. Thanks for your prayers.
When I got to the office and try to register, two people were basically on my top of me. One was less than an arm's length beside me and another one was less than a foot behind me. The person who registered me was "giving out" (confirming) my address/phone number/insurance. I kept looking at them with a deep glare/stare but they didn't get my "gist"; and I was saying "excuse me" and they said "ok, you're okay, go ahead". I was getting more and more annoyed by the minute. Believe me, I complained (*ahem* expressed my concern) when I got into the exam room.
Whenever I go to the Pain Management center, I always have to fill out the the same old paper work.....it gets kind of dull. What's your pain today? What's your pain this year? Where's your pain today? etc etc etc....... Well, that day, I wasn't feeling well at all. My head was hurting so much including my neck, I was already sick with a sinus infection; oh, and don't forget that I was still very upset have two stranger standing so close to me hearing my personal info! So you can imagine filling out the paper work was something I was not in the mood to do As I was filling out the paperwork, there was a lady sitting beside me, and started to talk to an older gentleman across her. Part of the conversation went something like this:
W: I just hope that I can get some kind of relief.
M: Well, I hope so too, it's better than surgery
W: Oh,****, I've had the most surgeries ever for everything
M: How many?
W: like 10 or 15 (starts naming her surgeries.... but uses a four letter word before naming each body area she had surgery)
M: Oh, that's too bad dear lady; I just hope he can help your back without surgery
W: I'd be * lucky if it does!
*******
At first, when as I was hearing this conversation, I was a bit annoyed. I was thinking "ok, lady, you have absolutely no right to complain about having 10-12 surgeries in your lifetime and say it's the *most* Because I've had at least 50+, I know friends who had 20+. I also got super annoyed at the *f and s* words, and was thinking "uh, I'm in A LOT of pain too, but you don't need to curse!"
....But then, I stopped. And realized. Perhaps this lady needed more than just pain management. Maybe she needed more than just surgeries to repair whatever needed to be repaired. Perhaps she needed more than just an ear to vent off her frustrations to a perfection stranger. Perhaps she needed more than "reassurance" of "i hope this treatment works". In my heart I was thinking of all the negativity in her talking, and not realizing that perhaps this lady needs to see God in all of this.
I'm not saying that if you are a Christian and you have faith and trust in God all your pain will go away. By no means, that is not true. I have horrible pain; my depression is very real. And I do loose faith (more times than ever); but we always seem to find our way back to the arms of Christ and that is what matters. I don't know the purpose of this pain; but I know it's in God's plan. Yes, it stinks; yes it's so very very hard. I don't understand it; and I don't understand how it is used as a blessing to others, but I'm glad it does.
I wanted to talk to the lady, but I ended up getting called back to see the doctor. I never did finish the paperwork, but it wasn't a big deal because the nurse usually just transfers all the information into the computer, so she just asked me!
I ended up getting an x-ray to see the 2 specific areas in my neck C2/C3 shows something, so we are now discussion options of treatment. I will let everyone know what we decide as soon as my doctor and I discuss it. Thanks for your prayers.
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