Growing and Trusting
This past year, just as the past several years, has been rough. I was looking back at my planner a few days ago and noticed that almost every week (or every other week), I had a doctor's appointment or some sort of treatment or test to undergo. It is interesting because many of my friends and especially some of my relatives ask me "what do you do with your time?" I always respond by telling them that I try to help out around the house as much as I physically can. As I looked back on my planner from late 2017 into the end of 2018, and saw all those appointments and treatments, it dawned on me how busy I really was and realized how tiring those things makes me. I guess going to these appointments and treatments are basically "second nature" to me -- I never factor those things in to my "busyness schedule" which ultimately leads to extreme exhaustion (after each appointment).
Last year, one of my words for the year is "GROW". I wanted to grow closer to my Lord and Savior. I wanted to especially grow closer to HIM when my pain is so rough, when my heart is weary, and when I'm fearful. I have been trying hard to stick to this goal of "GROW"ing in the Lord. One of the many ways that I have grown in Christ, is through His Word AND Song. This is one of my favorite songs from Sovereign Grace
O Lord My Rock and My Redeemer
Nathan Stiff/Sovereign Grace Music
Greatest treasure of my longing soul
My God, like You there is no other
True delight is found in You alone
Your grace, a well too deep to fathom
Your love exceeds the heavens' reach
Your truth, a fount of perfect wisdom
My highest good and my unending need
O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer
Strong defender of my weary heart
My sword to fight the cruel deceiver
And my shield against his hateful darts
My song when enemies surround me
My hope when tides of sorrow rise
My joy when trials are abounding
Your faithfulness, my refuge in the night
O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer
Gracious Savior of my ruined life
My guilt and cross laid on Your shoulders
In my place You suffered bled and died
You rose, the grave and death are conquered
You broke my bonds of sin and shame
O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer
May all my days bring glory to Your Name
This year as I continue to want to "Grow" IN Christ, I also want to learn to "TRUST". Trusting in God is so important. Knowing that His plan is perfect is important, despite not understanding why things go the way He has called things to go. It's not just TRUSTing God, but trusting those whom God has truly called to lead us and shepherd us.
One piece of the huge puzzle has been solved. After over a year of my advocating to do more testing (which my primary didn't agree to), we figured out part of the reason why my upper left (near the gallbladder/spleen) has been giving me increasing in pain, nausea, and vomiting. At first, we thought it was just a migraine side affect, but my neurologist decided to ask my primary to get a chemistry blood panel on me. It was determined that I have low potassium, which has the side effects of what I was going through. This explains a lot. Although it is easiest to find potassium in foods, it will be a bit harder to regulate since many times, eating foods is what causes the pain and nausea (it's like a big circle). Anyhow, at least I have an answer to part of my health issues, and that's what's important.
Thank you again to all of those who have kept me in their thoughts and prayers. Please continue to do so. I already have my calendar full (almost every other week) up until March. I'm feeling overwhelmed just looking at those appointments; but I know it's for my own good and health.
Solo de Gloria!
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