The Thrill of a Life
On August 17th, I was on a plane (with my
parents) on our way for a family vacation with my Mom’s side of the
family. The first leg of our flight, I
was sitting across from a Dad and his little girl (she couldn’t have been more
than 3 or 4 years old). You can tell
that this is the little girl’s first time on the plane. Overhearing the conversation, they were on their
way to visit his Mom and apparently his wife just had a baby boy (hey, you can’t
really help but overhear conversations, especially with you have to speak up in
a louder voice to break the sound barrier).
Anyhow, as the plane was taxiing to the take-off pad (ever so slowly)
and as we were waiting to take off, the little girl kept asking her Dad “when
are we going to fly???” or “We are flying”.
You can hear the excitement in her voice with every question or thought
about flying, and then disappointment with her Dad told her that we’ve not yet
taken off from the ground yet. At one
point, he had to open the shade to show/prove to her we were still on the
ground. She kept taking off her seatbelt
and her Dad kept buckling her back in as he scolded her and tried to explain
the importance of her seatbelt being left on.
She didn’t understand because as we were waiting to take off, the plane
was basically at a stand-still and not moving.
She didn’t understand that we needed to wait our turn to use the
runway. Finally the voice over the
intercom said “Prepare for Take-off”.
You could hear the engine rumble and roar….and feel speed kicking in…” The Dad says to the daughter “sit back, here
we go!” The little girl, starts to get
more and more excited and claps her hand and squeals, “We are flying flying!”
Dad says “Almost….” Once we actually hit
the air, the little girl claps and says “yay!!” and looks out the window and
sees, indeed, we are in the air. Then the
thrill is gone. The thrill is once again
revived when the plane prepares to land…. only she realizes she has to get off
the plane. Problem: she doesn’t want
to. She wants to fly again. She wants things on her terms, but in the end
she had to listen to her Dad. It was for her own good. Dad can’t leave her behind.
My mind kept coming back to this little scenario and I began
to reflect on my own actions and response to my Heavenly Father. I often receive and experience things that
are given graciously from Him; it’s fun and exciting. There are also moments or
days of being able to do things beyond my normal capabilities—I’m “thrilled”
for a day or more of manageable pain-less day, so I do more than I normally can’t
do. But then, the thrill ends
eventually, and I find myself in the pits again of not being able to do much—sometimes
not even feeling well enough to eat. I
find myself demanding God to give me this, give me that, etc (mostly no more
pain or no more health issues, etc) while realizing I haven’t once thanked God
for those *good* days when I could do a bit more than I normally could or even
the “here and now” where I am able to take a trip with my parents and family
(despite still experiencing good/bad days).
Yet even then, my Father in Heaven mercifully brings me back to Him and
reminds me time and time again that He is faithful to me and that everything He
does is for my own good.
God continues to teach me every day about reliance on Him,
especially during rough and tough days.
This year has been especially tough and rough and my doctors are working
together to figure out what’s going on that’s causing so many new symptoms and
new pain along with more confusion and falls.
It’s been rough. REALLY ROUGH. As
far as our trip, it was a great trip spending time with family. I did fall hard one day (blacked out and fell
down a few stairs) and fell again the next day (had a confused moment of not
knowing where I was so I lost my bearings).
I ended up having to borrow a wheelchair for almost the entire vacation
in fear of falling again and because it was painful to walk. Right now, I have a sore hip, back, tailbone
and right shoulder, but otherwise I’m okay.
I may end up making an appointment with my primary if the pain doesn’t
get any better soon. I would greatly
appreciate prayers.
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