Truth's About God


Despite my pain and low energy level, I try to do what I can; yet I don’t push myself too hard.   I try to make a habit of going the gym in the mornings.    I don’t do anything too intense (although I sorely miss Body Pump and Body Combat).   My gym days are usually 30-35 minutes bike ride and sometimes I follow it by 20-30 minutes of warm therapy water exercises.    Whenever I ride the bike, I turn on Netflix or Amazon Prime on my phone and put on a TV series just to pass the time.   However, the past several times, I decided to just listen to my iTunes.  Whenever I listen to my playlist, I usually have it on “shuffle” so it randomly plays music in no specific order.    I find comfort and reassurance of God’s love and sovereignty in His Word, through prayers, and encouragement from others.   I also find much encouragement through music.   Today, the song, Bring the Rain from Mercy Me played.   Here is the chorus:
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

Now, I’ve heard this song several times, but it just stopped me on my tracks because of all that has been going on these past weeks.

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In Jerry Bridges’ Book, Trusting God Even When Life Hurts, He states the following:

“Scriptures teach us three essential truths about God—truths we must believe if we are to trust Him in adversity. They are:

• God is completely sovereign.
• God is infinite in wisdom.
• God is perfect in love.

“God in His love always wills what is best for us. In His wisdom He always knows what is best, and in His sovereignty He has the power to bring it about”
The past 6 weeks has been extremely rough.  My chronic pain has not just increased, but old health issues from years ago have resurfaced.  Friends, this isn’t good and this is also VERY rough on me.  These health issues could all be related to my pain; but we just don’t know.   My doctors always tease me that I’m a “perplexing case study” and I always tease back that I like to keep the doctors “on their toes.”   My whole care team (UVA and AH) is trying to work together to help me.    At times, I am so desperate that I was willing to try anything; yet, some of the “quick fixes” ended up not being a manageable or safe avenue.   This was hard and somewhat disappointing to hear. Now, the alternative possible treatments are safer, yet not guaranteed to work. Right now, I’m just waiting on my Pain management doctor for the next steps.    
Through this all, I’m trying to fix my eyes upon God; I’m trying to trust in Him completely and trust Him that He will lead the doctors to find a suitable plan of care for me.  Yes, I’m discouraged. 

I’m tired of medical tests and procedures.  I’m so tired of the “band-aide” approach when dealing with health issues.  I’m tired of re-occurrence of old health issues AND new issues occurring—yet my God is completely sovereign. 
I’m so tired of unanswered questions.  I don’t understand the meaning of this all.   Sometimes—okay—many times, I don’t see the roses among the thrones.  What or where are they? God’s reasoning and will is for our good.  We may not understand it, but despite all this—God is infinite in His wisdom.   “Romans 8:28 is one of the most comforting texts in all of Scripture. It assures the believer that all "tragedies" are ultimately blessings. It does not declare that all things that happen are good in themselves but that in all the things that happen to us God is working in and through them for our good. This is also firmly grounded in His eternal purpose for His people.” ― R.C. Sproul
Yes, I’m tired of going through this daily battle.  I grieve over things that I can’t do now that I used to be able to do.   I believe deep in my heart that everything has purpose and God controls everything and things are done for His glory.  God’s providence holds truth; as William Cowper writes “Behind a frowning providence, He hides a smiling face”. (How much do I (we) cling to this truth?   I was reminded about God’s love and promises several weeks ago,  my church’s Lead Pastor, Todd talked about God’s placing a Rainbow in the sky, after the flood, for Noah to see.  It was a promise that God will never again destroy the earth with a flood.  A rainbow appears after the storm; God’s love is ever present throughout the storms of life, even in the end. —God’s love is perfect! 

 "O joy that seekest me through pain, I cannot close my heart to thee.
I trace the rainbow through the rain, and feel the promise is not vain.
That morn shall tearless be".

Comments

Anonymous said…
Most encouraging words with so much depth of wisdom! Will be praying for you.
February 20, 2020 at 6:15 PM
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