A JOYFUL NOISE

I remember growing up and be frighten by those huge Merry Go Rounds and Ferris Wheels at theme parks or fairs or whatever. I was always afraid I would be left on and will continue to go round and round without stopping. If I was on a Ferris Wheel I would hate being the one stuck on top while they unloaded people on the bottom; I was afraid I would stay at top and never get down. These are my feelings these past few weeks. I feel as if keep going round and round and life is not letting me get off to breathe. I feel stuck on the very top of the Ferris Wheel and will never get off. I’m stuck in life not knowing where to go or what to do. I feel stuck on the Merry Go Round where it keeps going in circles and I’m not getting anywhere too, but seeing the same thing over and over again (such as sickness, surgeries, etc); I want to get off and it seems the closer I get from getting off the faster the Merry Go Round wants to go or the more I get stuck on top of the Ferris wheel....

I have suffered a set back from my wreck on Wednesday. The wreck made my body jerk forward/back; I was “ok” but my friend who met me at the accident site insisted to go to the ER. All test were negative at the time, but the doctor told me that it doesn’t mean something won’t show up later. Last night was rough find an comfy position for my head; I woke up this morning and decided to go to the doctor. Usually I go to the chiropractor, not for neck or back issues, but the use of alternative medication for my sinus. My neck was in A LOT OF PAIN and my chiropractor told me that he could tell my neck was bothering me because the way that my head was tilting. Even though my Xrays were normal, Dr. Robson said that the injuries were not bone/spine related but muscle related so he still thinks that I need to continue with treatment. This will be billed to the person who damaged my car and responsible for the wreck. I need neck therapy that he will perform and he can tell tha...

Be Still My Soul Katharina von Schlegel, 1. Be still, my soul: the Lord is on your side. Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain; leave to your God to order and provide; in every change God faithful will remain. Be still, my soul: your best, your heavenly friend through thorny ways leads to a joyful end. 2. Be still, my soul: your God will undertake to guide the future, as in ages past. Your hope, your confidence let nothing shake; all now mysterious shall be bright at last. Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know the Christ who ruled them while he dwelt below. 3. Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on when we shall be forever with the Lord, when disappointment, grief, and fear are gone, sorrow for forgot, love's purest joys restored. Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past, all safe and blessed we shall meet at last. ------------------------------------------------------------------ T his song has been my source of strength throughout my recovery perio...

God calls us to be like Him. To hold on to His image, to live like Him,, to be Faithful, good Stewarts, and Servants. But can we all honestly say we are everyday living this way? I surely can’t. Every day I need prayer of guidance to remember that only God in His infinite power can make us more like HIM and can grow us more like his Image. Only in Eternity can we be perfected in every way; perfect bodies, perfect minds, perfect souls, etc. I’m so sure I wrote about Warren many times; I wish back in the 80s and 90s we had digital cameras so I can still find good pictures of him. It’s been a rough month for me, not just because of the pain and the recovery but I feel as if I’m back into that mourning stage again; I feel helpless and silly to cry for something that happened about 16 yrs ago. I suddenly cry and remember the love he showed to me as a child, his unselfish nature, his love to just take off work whatever his boss said just to come to my side and calm me down as a...

Perhaps God is sending me a message. Perhaps He is trying to tell me to be more into his Word and more trusting in Him. Perhaps He is trying to teach me not to sweat the small things and be thankful for everything else such as a good therapist and a good doctor and medications that aide pain and friends who love you and care for you. Perhaps He is showing me more and more of Himself to me EACH DAY or perhaps He (as my mom also says) is telling me to “SLOW DOWN, my child”. I am forever ever grateful for everything and everyone who has helped me and visited me, brought me gifts, sent cards and send their love. I really am. I realize I do complain how much I hate therapy but know how much in the long run it is going to help me. I am grateful that I have a good therapist and grateful that I can be able to have an extra month off of work. The past two night has been very rough and hard on me. I have been up most nights, sleeping probably no more than 4 hrs and waking up in the...

Bare with me.....this is long, but worth reading; and some of it is dedicated to certain people :) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- I have been reflecting over this past week or so (and yes I know it is midnight and really it is Thursday, but since this past Saturday, I have been really focused on God’s promises and everlasting love either through my devotions or tangible ways that God brings His people to minister to others. I tell you all. This is been far one of the worse recoveries I have faced over my 30 years of surgeries----that doesn’t mean I’ve had 30 surgeries, I’ve had probably over 100. It doesn’t get easier. I remember being young and bouncing back like a ball right after surgery. I would drink and drink and eat and eat (if allowed) after surgery just to get that IV fluid out of me; I would beg my doctors to let me walk around and go home; and yet I would be denied until at least my 2nd or 3rd day out of surgery. I rem...

Today was my first full day of therapy. Because of the nature of the surgery (decompression and bone filing) the therapist is starting me on passive range of motion. She basically stretches me out and see how much passive ROM I have. I don't have much movement on my own and it hurts a lot to have to move it around so much. In fact, even pulling my sheets up on my bed to straightening my sheets, etc hurts a lot. (ok....let me be honest. just USING my arm hurts). My therapist and I have concerns about my returning so soon to work in 12 days. She and I think that with my limited motion and not even being able lift anything (even a cup of coffee); the bone pain is very very painful and I had to call my doctor to give another pain medication to ease the pain. I still take it every 2-3 hours. My therapist told me that she will talk to my doctor and express her and my concern about returning to work full duty on March 10th. She doesn't think (due to my therapy and wor...