A JOYFUL NOISE

Lately, I have stewed over the meanings of "trivial" and "normal". Sometimes when people ask me how I'm doing, the matter of fact is that I can't really answer that in fear of not being truthful to myself or others. I can say "I still struggling and still having a rough time", yet the truth is, this illness has been going on for a while. Not just with my recent years of stomach issues, but also with what NF brings with the disease (compromised immune system, trouble with sleep, easy infections, vision instability etc). Then again, I tend to also say I'm doing "ok" because this illness (including my GI issues) is just a part of me that I know I have to endure and it's part of my every day life. People also say to me "I bet you wish your health will return to normal". Honestly, I don't know how to respond. My entire life (yes, since I was born), I've faced doctors, hospitals, etc no less than 10-12...

This past Sunday, I came home from church and a special gathering, very tired and in some pain. Long days are hard on me, mostly physically and especially if the night before I didn't sleep well. I decided to lay on the couch and flip TV channels. I came across Discovery Fit and Health and saw a preview of a man with deformities like myself. When it was made known that it was Neurofibromatosis ( or NF--the condition have) I was intrigued and continued to watch it. It was something I can relate to and I have never really known anyone who has suffered from this disorder as I do. There's no cure and basically it's a life long cycle of surgeries after surgeries. I know a lot about this disorder due to myself suffering from it but also my own research on the topic. When I was watching this show, it blessed me in so many ways. As a background, NF has two types: Type I and Type II. Type I is the most common and least harming to the body; Type II has a huge ...

I apologize for not doing the "best" of job in updating you all on my health issues. For a period of time, I've become so overwhelmed and frustrated with my not feeling well, having to check in to the ER, doctors appointments, etc. Sometimes it's so hard to go through this and share with friends. I don't want to burden any of my friends with my health issues, even though I know they will always pray for me. Back in the beginning of September, I had an appointment with my GI doctor, Dr Perua and Dr. Henry. All of you know that for the past 2-3 years these stomach issues of pain and nausea has been baffling to not only myself and my parents, but with the doctors as well. They had hypothesis, did various tests, and still they couldn't figure out what was going on with me. The did; however, know that I have gastroperesis which is the slow emptying of the stomach. Normally the stomach will empty 100% in 2 hrs; with me, my stomach emptied only 37% in 2 h...

That was the title of my talk with the ASP kids yesterday. And it was really fun and a blessing to me as I got to share some truths about life and in it all how God takes care of use and uses us for HIS Glory. For a few years, between 2005-2007, I would be on again off again as a discipler to the kids. I shared my testimony to the kids back then as a way of showing them that God uses everything we go through as a means to glorify and exalt His name. It's hard to believe that the kids who I helped back then are in college! YIKES! When I moved back to Lyndhurst in 2007, I was sadden to have had to stop attending ASP and being a disciple to ASP kids who mostly live in the coaches behind the church. I loved being part of ASP for a while and it was hard.....really hard to have given it up; I couldn't do it, not only because I was further away from the church, but because I had a full time job.... an 8-5 job; so I couldn't participate. But God's plan ch...

Today I was remembering some of the things my nieces do when we go and visit them. A few weeks ago, we were in Richmond when the hurricane came through. The winds were strong and the rain was heavy. My nieces were concerned about the water and was especially concerned about the fallen tree in the backyard. Both of my nieces clung tightly to my Mom and all my Mom could say is "it's okay....God is with us" As I remember that day, I can't help but to think to myself how important it is to cling to Christ. I remembered how tightly my nieces clung to someone they trust and I thought to myself "Do I really cling to Christ as I am suppose too?" I know at times, I don't. I think I don't need Him during my days when I'm not feeling well. I get angry when I'm feeling nauseated and in pain; I get angry when I can't get into see my doctor when I want to; I get angry when I see other people enjoy and participate in things I wi...

I have decided to go ahead and write a note sharing with you all my experience while in Alaska. I had wanted to wait til I got my computer back (my laptop is currently being repaired) and load pictures and share them along with my story, but I just decided that I couldn't wait. (oh, and for those of you who is wondering, I can't upload pics to my parent's computer only bc their computer memory is so low and can't upload it anyhow!) Let me first share a background about this trip. This is how my journal to Alaska began. My very good friend Keren told me about Josh back in December. I was very intrigued and interested in her journeys with this fellow she had met. I finally got to met him one time in March, and again in April when Joshua took Keren and I out to eat THE DAY BEFORE MY SURGERY! He knew about it and so did Keren and I guess they just wanted me to have a good "last meal" to enjoy since I wouldn't be able to eat much aft...

Today I saw my-- GI doctor (a fellow), DR Cerefice for the last night (he accepted an attending position in NJ; but my attending, Dr Peura will still be my attending). He caught up on my health issues and we discussed how I've been feeling. I did tell him that there was a while that I was eating nothing but fish and vegetables and started feeling a little bit better (that is, not in that constant pain and nausea). Until about 3-4 weeks ago, I again started up that cycle of feeling ill again; constant pain and constant nausea. I told him that there were certain days that I just don't sleep because of the pain and the nausea. He does want me to continue to small meals, fish/veggie/no gluten diet. He thinks that along with my motility issues there are other things that is happening that they still can't put a finger on so they are trying different alternatives in medications, diets, etc to see what works best. They do think it is a never problem t...