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Holding On, Joys, Remembering, Loving

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Yesterday, for some reason, I sat down on my bed and suddenly thought of this person:                                           His name is Warren "Granddaddy" Johnson.  He passed away back in '95.  He and his wife Erma "Grandma" has been part of my life for as long as I can remember and has been to the hospital every time I had surgeries. Erma passed away last year.   Warren would carry me to the prep room, he would hold my hand whenever the nurses would have to do any kind of "thing" to me.   I remember getting surprises after I woke up from surgeries; I remember getting visits.....they both were part of my life.    Yesterday, I just had a sudden meltdown.  ME? at 34 yrs old having a meltdown!!!???!!  YES!  He's k...

Patiently Waiting.....

These past weeks, (meaning Thanksgiving week and this week) has been filled with medical procedures and doctors visits.  Our family had a pretty laid back Thanksgiving due to my not feeling well at all.  My pain level was sky high and I was extremely worn out all day long, and actually mostly all the rest of Thanksgiving week.  Anyhow, this week, I had THREE UVA appointments.  Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get all of them in one trip, but I got two of them in one trip. Wednesday, I had my usual check-up with my surgeon, Dr. Gampper, to look at my facial tumors all over my head as well (he decided I needed another CAT scan to determine if the tumors are spreading around the interior part of my head, so this is scheduled on Tuesday.....so tired of medical tests!!) Thursday (Dec 4th) was the longest day of my life (felt like it). I had a 9:30 appointment with my Neurologist, Dr. Leone  It was such an incredible and encouraging visit....

Thankful for Pastors in our Midst----

It's past 2:45 AM and I'm still awake. I've been awake since 9a.m. without any naps which is unusual for me. I've been in my bed since 11pm and I can't seem to shut my mind off.  There's so much going on in my heart and my mind that I can't seem to just "turn off"  It has relatively little to do with the amount of physical pain I'm in tonight nor does it have little to do with upcoming medical procedures.  I just have a lot on my mind.  Some good things; some sad things; so praiseworthy things, some heart wrenching things, etc. Today for all you VA folks, know how blistering cold it was today; I have to be extra careful about not getting sick due to my low immunity; plus with my horrible pain scale today, I just couldn't make it to church.  I wanted to make it to either the early morning service or the Thanksgiving service my church had to night combined with the formal Installation Service of the official (should I say "dubbing??...

It's All Perspective.....

Today, while my Mom and I were out and about doing some quick errands, my Mom was telling me about a situation about a lady at her work who works in H.R.  She had been experiencing some pain and had went to her yearly check-up only to find out she had cancer in her uterus. When the doctors went in to remove her uterus, it had spread to both ovaries, but because they had not gotten consent to take the ovaries out, she has to go back in for surgery AGAIN.  My Mom was telling me it seems like a sad situation because she didn't have much time off work and that she probably had to go on short term disability or FMLA to cover surgery, recovery, chemo, etc; her husband had just left her a year ago and she had no one.  My heart sunk.  I can't imagine going through something like this by yourself.  I can't even imagine going through a simple surgery by myself!! My Mom then said "We never know other people's circumstances.....there are people out there wh...

A New Doctor....First Appointment

Yesterday (Tuesday, November 12, 2013), I saw a new doctor for my abdominal pain.   Oddly, this doctor is not at UVA, but a doctor at Augusta Health, right near where I live.   Let me tell you, this was the first time in a long time, I felt that SOMEONE actually took time to hear what I feeling and saying. Brief Background Information: When all this abdominal pain started to get worse over the past 3-4 years, (I've actually struggled with it in college and after college but it just got worse over the past years) I underwent countless GI test over at UVA to determine the cause of the pain.  When they couldn't figure out the cause of the pain, they referred me to the Pain Clinic at UVA.   At UVA, I kept seeing different doctors/residents/fellows every time I went there.  I never really saw the attending physician (and come to think of it, I never really saw the attending physician much at the GI clinic either ).  I rarel...

Grace, Hope, Providence, ABBA

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One thing I love about being a part of the Worship Team is that we get to learn new songs and teach the congregation the songs.    I LOVE singing hymns that have different tunes to them.   One of the songs we have been teaching the congregation is "God Moves (In a Mysterious Way)".  The tune and adaptive words from Sovereign Grace is beautiful.   Of course, I grew up on the traditional Hymnal tune (yes, I grew up Baptist!)  I have a mini book, you can call it a pamphlet called "Behind a Frowning Providence" by John Murray and go to it every now and then when I'm in need of reminders of God's grace and mercy. Todd's sermon was very moving yesterday.  God's timing was perfect for me to hear the words I needed to hear.   I was SO THANKFUL that the nursery workers were settled in and I was able to sit in to hear the sermon.  What a blessing.  I needed to hear God's message through Todd  I have grown to enjoy and ...

Reminders Through Songs

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For the past couple of weeks, my brain has been full of thoughts floating around with non-cohesive sentences.  I've been wanting to write for a while, but I just couldn't put words together.    There really hasn't been a lot of new things to share, yet I wanted to share some thoughts with you all. Over the past couple weeks, I have been listening to a lot more music than usual.   I find a lot of comfort in many many songs.   I would either sit and savor the words of the song; or I would sing along to the words........words to songs that many of us know; songs that we sing in church or listen to on the radio.   A few years ago, our church's VBS theme was "Pandamania"   and one of the songs was  "He Knows My Name: I love this song.  It has so much depth, so much meaning, and most of all, it gives so much comfort to me.  As I was listening to this song,  it reminded me of the faithfulness of ...