Posts

It's Not Chance; It's God's Will and Control

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As you all know, I continue to struggle with my health: my unknown cause of abdominal pain, head pain, headaches, and neck pain.   There are days/weeks that are better and then there are days/weeks that aren’t so good; AND there are days that are so hard for me to function or even eat (especially when it deals with my abdominal pain).   It’s rough; but I try not to complain……it doesn’t mean I don’t wonder sometimes; I wonder why haven’t there been any answers to all of this? A few nights ago, I was chatting with one of my cousins (non-Christian; and she knows our family is very Christ-centered) on line.   She’s a very caring and dear cousin to me and I love her family as well as my aunt and uncle (and of course I love NYC).    As it is with any “chat” conversation (or any conversation for that matter), we start by asking each other “how are you doing?”   If you are like me, I’m very general with people who you know just “ask” this question for the sa...

When All We Can Do is Pray........

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This past Monday morning, I opened up my email, and received an email from my friend James Arbaugh .  James and I met at Blue Ridge Community College back in 1997.  He's a missionary in Haiti now and even though he's miles away, we still remain in contact.     Because he's a missionary there, I usually expect his monthly updates, but I wasn't expecting this email: ( this is only part of the email) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Wednesday as I drove the long trip from Jeremie to Port-au-Prince my mind pondered what would transpire in the next couple days.  Surely there would be a welcoming party, and sweet times of intimate fellowship with caring family and friends.  Probably the same as Jesus on his way to Jerusalem, he knew something was going to happen; something exciting (triumphal entry), something painful (beating, mocking and betrayal), something hopeless that would appear to end in death (crucifi...

"Promises in God"

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This, has been my song of praise over the past few days..   I haven't heard it for a long while or sang it for a while; but recently it has come to my heart and I have sang it repeatedly. ( Side note: when I started this blog, back in 2007, I had a hard time coming up with a name for a blog.  I loved love this song and Psalms 100; therefore, A Joyful Noise originated it's name!). I love this song for so many reasons.  It's such an encouraging song.  I love especially these words: My comfort, my shelter, Tower of refuge and strength; Let every breath, all that I am Never cease to worship You........ ..................I sing for joy at the work of Your hands, Forever I'll love You, forever I'll stand, Nothing compares to the promise I have in You . It's been a week of calling doctors and figuring out the plan of action regarding the outcome of my MRI.  I have three doctors involved in the outcome of this recent MRI results.   My MRI ...

One of My Worst Phobias

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Last Monday, was a busy day for me.  I had an appointment with my surgeon to discuss treatment options about the tumor growth near on the right side of my temple area stretching down behind my ear.  That area has been giving me excruciating pain for some time. ( Note: This pain has nothing to do with the pain I've been having with the back of my head and into my head)  With and extremely small needle (probably the size one would use for a diabetic shot), Dr. Gampper tried to give me some relief with a stronger form of the   Novocaine  class of medication, in hopes it could help ease some pain; but it didn't really do anything.  Over email, we discussed another surgery is probably the best course of action.....plus there are still other things that needs to be taken care of with my NF condition.   In light of so many things going on right now, I am not ready for another surgery....yet.  He'll leave it to me, when I'm ready.    Yes, I go t...

The Setting In of Discouragement and Doubt

The Lord has really blessed me with many great friends and family.  Many of whom has prayed for me and showed so much kindness and love for me. Many of them asks questions of which I have no answers because I have the same questions myself.  It is so frustrating to keep asking and keep trying to come up with an answer.  One of the common questions I get asked (and I always ask) is:  Why  aren't  any of the treatments working?? or Why does this treatment work for such a short time? (If only I knew the answer to this age old question….) PLEASE PLEASE DON’T get me wrong…. I really appreciate the kindness, love, and care behind most of these questions; and I firmly know every one of these questions have good intentions behind them.        I went back for a follow up with my neurologist 2 weeks ago and Dr. Leone could immediately tell (by looking at me) that my pain has worsened.  My head pain has defini...

Why Me? or is it....Why NOT Me?

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This past week,  5/22-5/31, my niece Caitlyn got to stay with my parents and I at our house.                                                    She did really well here, she enjoyed her new bike and helmet my Mom got her while she was here.  If ever I become a mother, in God's will, I had a foretaste of it. I have greatly enjoyed all these teaching moments with her.  She enjoyed grabbing any kind of book and trying to sound out words with me. She had lots of questions; many of the questions were things from "If the earth is round, how is it we go in a straight line?"  to "why does lightening make a noise (thunder?)"  Then came the "harder" questions like: Why are you sick a lot? Why does your tummy hurt? Why does your head hurt?            I don't ...

A Love to Cling To

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It's been a rough past several weeks It's been a tough past week It's been an ugly past few days My heart is heavy My heart hurts. My heart is full of tears. I feel like I am going to explode at any moment. I want to run away, or something like that. I wish I can share exactly how I feel Or what's going on....... Too...Much......stuff.... am I going to suffocate? I heard this song on my iPod today, and it reminded me that He is never far and will not let me go. And to those of you out there who are suffering and facing difficulties, He too is holding on to you. May you find rest in HIM and HIM only.