A JOYFUL NOISE

It's been a rough past several weeks It's been a tough past week It's been an ugly past few days My heart is heavy My heart hurts. My heart is full of tears. I feel like I am going to explode at any moment. I want to run away, or something like that. I wish I can share exactly how I feel Or what's going on....... Too...Much......stuff.... am I going to suffocate? I heard this song on my iPod today, and it reminded me that He is never far and will not let me go. And to those of you out there who are suffering and facing difficulties, He too is holding on to you. May you find rest in HIM and HIM only.

The most common thing that is asked between people when they greet each other is probably that famous question “How are you?”  Have you ever stopped to think, how complex, those three little words can mean?  I’m not saying, it could be a hard question to ask, or it may be a hard question to answer; but the fact is, simply asking “How are you?” may have a significant impression on other person.  I often wonder if people just ask that question just out of habit or out of true sincere care of wanting to know how the other person is doing.  I’m sure we are all guilty of doing this at one point, including me.  You are asked “How are you” and as you answer that question, you notice “person who asked the question” isn't really paying attention and then you wonder why that person even bothered to ask you, “how are you?”.   Then you learn something.  You learn who you can really share things with and who you can just say “oh, I’m doing ok/fine” (otherwise...

I haven't posted any updates for over a month, only because there really hasn't been much to update y'all on.  The main reason is that I've been going through a panel of tests in the last 6 weeks, so I was waiting to hear the results from of them and update you all at once. Quick Preface: For a while, my upper left abdominal has been given been extreme pain and nausea.   Note: My lower right abdominal pain is being addressed by my Pain Management doctor, Dr. Victor Lee. The pain there still has no explanation as to what it is causing it.  Then back in February, I saw Dr. Vanessa Lee at Augusta Health (GI doc) due to my increase pain/nausea in my upper left stomach, near by gallbladder.  She ordered a panel of blood work as well as a gallbladder test. The gallbladder test came back negative which is a good thing, yet still the upper abdominal pain (around where the gallbladder is located) was a puzzling thing.  My blood tests came back clear, except f...

Last Monday, the 31st, my parents and I set out on a 8 hr trip up to NY to visit family. Unfortunately, because of sickness in the extended family, we were only able to see part of our extended family. It was disappointing to not be able to see my Uncle Nelson (my Mom's brother) and his family, but I did get my cousin David (the youngest male cousin) which was nice. It was good to spend time with my Aunt Maypo (Mom's sister), uncle, and cousins....and of course, my 2 nieces (or 2nd cousins).  Last time I saw them, they were in DC area visiting sites; we were able to see them briefly. If you know NY at all, you know that parking is terrible, especially in midtown/uptown NY and if you find parking, KEEP YOUR CAR THERE! The place where we stayed is a mile away from my cousin's condo so we would walked every day to her place. I would have to pace myself, but walking along the pier was really great and beautiful during the morning as we well as coming back at night. I never kn...

For several reason, every year ahead, March and April will never be the same for me again.  I'm sure there are some of you out there who experience the same thing as I do....that something somber, sad, hurtful, heartbreaking, etc has happened on a certain month that leaves an impression on your heart that last a forever impression. A year ago, this week, I concocted a surprise (EARLY) birthday surprise for my best friend, Gina. I purposely did this 3 weeks early because I know her well, and if it was done a few days before, she would have guessed something would have been up.  I got the Slaters involved as well her brother Jonathan.  I enjoyed doing this for her....it was fun to surprise her! After all the celebrations, cake, ice cream, etc, we had some fun time together just the two of us.   We were about headed to bed when my cell phone rang about 10pm.  My Mom called and told me that my grandmother was rushed to the ER with troubled breathing (she also had ...

A week or so ago, I transferred downloaded songs from my computer's iTunes as well as some of my CDs I have to my iPod mini.  I have/had an Mp3 Sansa player but it's about on its last leg and my brother in law gave me their iPod mini a couple of years ago to hold on to in case I would want it or need it.  I'm sure I'll find more Worship/Hymns CDs to add to my iPod!  I enjoy worship music and love listening to it and singing it.  I have collected a lot of those CDs along the years, before iPods came along or even MP3s became available! Listening to my iPod and the worship songs has become a big staple in my daily life right now.  It has become one of my means and ways of worship and devotion, especially times when I'm not feeling well physically and emotionally.  Today, I was listening to the songs on my iPod, when I heard a song come up....a song I know very well.  A song, I haven't heard for a long while, yet I know by heart....a song that brought b...

My blog has been quiet for almost a month.   In some ways, there really hasn't been much to update; in some ways, there are so many things I can share but I just don't know how to put it into words.   Since my last update, needless to say, there still isn't any answer to my increasing pain and new unexplained pains.  The tests are coming back negative and I'm being sent to an endocrinologist for further evaluation because my cortisol levels are low.   I continue to fight fatigue and pain everyday as well as continued discouragement and depression on a daily basis.  My last pain block did not help but just for two days for some reason; that was a huge disappointment.  It seemed as if the whole month of February was a "KA-PLUK" for me.  High pain levels....but not just that, I was also sick most of the time; I was restless most nights, woke up in night sweats, running low grade fevers, nausea, not much appetite, etc.  It was a loosing battl...