A JOYFUL NOISE

“God in His Love always wills what is best for us. In His wisdom He always knows what is best, and in His sovereignty. He has the power to bring it about.   God is completely sovereign; God is infinite in Wisdom. God is perfect in Love…….. While it is certainly true that God’s love for us does not protect us from pain and sorrow, it is also true that all occasions of pain and sorrow are under the absolute control of God. If God controls the circumstances of the sparrow, how much more does He control the circumstances that affect us? God does not walk away and leave us the mercy of uncontrolled random or chance events”     --Jerry Bridges, Trusting God Even When Life Hurts One of my favorite devotional books and authors is Jerry Bridges.   His book Trusting God Even When Life Hurts is among one of my favorite out of many of his books. I got this book from a good friend of the family when I graduated from high school; I also was a baby Christian at that tim...

Back on February 25th, my pain management doctor (Dr Davis) approached my lower right side pain a little differently.  He decided to do the usual pain block procedure as he usually does; however, at the same time, he also did an oblation.  This is when he uses heat to basically "burn" that specific nerve.  I have had an oblation done before, but it only lasted a few weeks (I think about 4-6 weeks).  However, the first time my first pain management doctor (Dr. Lee) did the oblation, he went with the traditional method, which means, he did very very low heat and pulsated the nerve.  This means, the heat didn't totally kill the nerve; but sorta of "kept it quiet".  Also when I first had the oblation, Dr Lee didn't use any pain block medication either.   However, this second go around with the oblation along with the pain block preformed by Dr Davis is a bit different.  Dr. Davis went more conventional on the oblation; that is, he went with full ...

Last week, I was sitting in the waiting room at the Augusta Lifetime Physical Therapy.  I was waiting for my therapist and was minding my own business by playing a game on my phone.  There was a Mother and a little girl sitting in the waiting room.  I guess perhaps they were waiting for a family member to be done with therapy or something.  As I was looking at my phone, I heard the little girl (she had to have been no more than 3 years old) ask her Mom "Mommy what happened to her face?", as she was pointing to me.  Her mom graciously told her not to point or stare and told her that she didn't know and that perhaps my being there at therapy would help me.   My heart was in the middle of sinking and smiling.  I'll explain to you why.  I absolutely loved her Mom's answer. She gave her daughter a simple answer, which she accepted because the Mom didn't know why.  What the Mom said isn't too "far-fetched" because I have had OT/PT for my phys...

As most of you know, this has been an extremely rough year for me.  Almost every.single.month. I've had an appointment with either a UVA doctor or my Augusta Health doctor. I've had numerous tests, studies, procedures, ect. I look at it in a positive way that all of the tests came back negative which is good and none of the scans showed any significant  changes (of concern at this point).   Due to my health, my usual yearly surgeries for continual NF tumor removal was not a good idea, so that was put off until I get a bit stronger.  I'm a bit of a mess......as my neurologists (yes, I have two neurologists), pain management doctor, GI doctor, and whole slew of other doctors would say since they can't figure out the cause of anything.    I'm about worn out from the exorbitant amount of tests and studies that was done to me JUST THIS past several week.  In the first week in December I was getting tested for some swallowing issues I wa...

Over the past couple of months, I've been in and out of doctors' appointments, medical studies, etc.  It's been very tiresome and one thing I am grateful for is that so far most of my tests has come back negative. Yet, the flip side to this is that doctors are baffled at what is causing my increased medical issues which are: --increased head pain --increased abdominal pain --increased confusion/cognitive issues, including falling for no apparent reason (Side note: For those of you wondering, my increased cognitive issues is a bit scary.  Imagine yourself "wondering" around somewhere, knowing you are suppose to find someone/something, but you just feel "lost" or just not realizing where you are or what time of day it is. My Mom has seen this on numerous occasions).   I had a neurology followup a couple weeks ago and my doctor figured it would be a good idea to have an MRI to see if there were any NF tumors in my brain that could cause any of these...

Last week, September 4th-10th, my parents and I were able to make a trip to celebrate my cousin, Jared's wedding.  This is the cousin on my Dad's side of the family.  Overall, our trip went fairly well.  The trip up took a lot longer than anticipated due to the high volume of traffic; but of course that was to be expected due to it being a holiday weekend.   My health and pain level probably wouldn't have been much different than if I were to be at home.  Our plan to even go on this trip wasn't fully decided until about a month or so before the wedding, due to my increased pain levels and health issues over the past several months.   We were all very glad that we were able to go and celebrate.  I did have some days of not feeling very well at all and then days where I was able to enjoy time with my parents, cousins, and family. Going to NY has always been visiting relatives and spending time with my grandparents; we never really had *time* to enjoy th...

Since my last update in May, I continue to struggle greatly with my physical self.  It's been weary and tiresome and at times, I admit I do become despondent.  It's a never ceasing battle for me; and this chronic pain I refer to is BOTH the back of my head/neck AND my lower abdominal region. I go through the day as much as I can with what I can endure.  I help out where needed, I try to go to the gym with my Mom when I can, but I don't overdo it.  End result, no matter what I do, the pain is still there no matter what; it could be worsened or the same--it depends.   ...and it's a struggle, a daily struggle; and a times a struggle that sometimes keeps me in bed in the mornings; and I often wonder how content am I, really?   I am missing out on so many things in life.  I miss being able to fellowship with my brothers and sisters in Christ or being a home group, the  once a year gathering with the Worship Team, or even just a group gathering for ...